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December Birthdays Suck. Or Do They?

Scary Mommy encourages us to abstain from sexy time in March to prevent December birthdays. Photo Credit: Scary Mommy

My birthday falls in that strange time between Christmas and New Years. I’ve always hated that. I thought December birthdays were by and large, pretty lame. Then something happened. Other people started bashing them and I became… defensive might be the best word, about my month of natal origin.

All over the internet, articles and blog posts are popping up about how December babies are the worst. Even the amazing and adorable Jill Smokler of the blog Scary Mommy is jumping into the fray, encouraging people not to have sexy time during the month of March, dubbing it “National Abstinence Month” in an effort to avoid annoying December birthdays. Not cool, Scary Mommy. You’re supposed to have sexy time in March that’s why they call it “spring fever”.  (Cue the porn music)

Anyone who was born in December or has had a baby in December knows the real deal. It’s good and it’s bad. It’s sort of like being from New Jersey (another distinction I can claim). Everywhere you go, people feel compelled to make pitying and disparaging comments. And after a while, you start to think; please shut your word hole because my birthday month is actually sort of awesome. And so is central Jersey.

Here are five very valid reasons why December birthdays are sort of lame, followed by another reason why they actually kick ass.

It’s so expensive. Yes, of course it is. And now you have to buy another present for someone else and it’s more money to spend when you don’t have that much to begin with. And you may be thinking how hard it is for parents who have December babies and how expensive those little buggers are… Well guess what, hotshot? Look who just got a precious little TAX DEDUCTION right under the wire? #Winning

A birthday party? NOW? If you can get your birthday shindig on the books early, there is no other time of year that people want to party like the holidays. It’s actually awesome to have a birthday party in December because people are already prepared to be ridiculously busy, chock-filled with social time and ready to have fun.

But December is really all about Christmas, isn’t it? Of course it is. Just ask anyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas and they’ll be nodding in agreement that trees and the jolly fat man and elves are everywhere. Like it or not, you can’t really get away from it. But we December babies choose to have a good attitude about it. HELLS YEAH! People talk about celebrity birthdays in any given month well, we’ve got JESUS.  When it comes to a big name, there you go. Born in July? You probably only have a Kardashian or something. Yeah, I know JC may actually been born in February or something about historical accuracy and changes in the calendar and blah blah blah. NOT IMPORTANT. We have Jesus in December and you don’t.

Ahhh… The weather! One of the nicest things about December is how totally dependable the weather is. That was a joke. I live in the mid-Atlantic, which means any given day could range between sunny and 70 degrees to 5 below with blizzard conditions. You just never know. The good news? You always end up with exactly the people you were supposed to have with you on your special day. The ones who care enough about you to make the time and brave the weather. And sometimes you get an unexpectedly beautiful day that you appreciate all the more because it’s in Winter or one of those magical snow-flakey nights that seem like it should be from a romantic comedy. You don’t get that in August. You just get heat stroke.

Combined presents. Let’s be honest. This is sort of a big deal for some people, though for most of us it doesn’t really matter once you become an adult. But the benefit of having a birthday in December is that it’s OBVIOUS. It’s out there and most December babies find that over a lifetime it evens out. There will be as many people who make an effort to spoil you in the gift department as people who see it as an excuse to re-gift something heinous or give you  that dreaded combo gift.

But the same thing happens to lots of people, only they don’t even realize it. Birthday in early September? How do you like your new clothes for school? Birthday in May? How’s that new swimsuit working out for you? We’re giggling over here because you totally would’ve gotten that stuff anyway. #Nowyouknow.

See? December birthdays don’t suck after all.

Read from Julie at her blog Rants from MommyLand. Follow Julie on Facebook and Twitter for additional goofy nonsense at no extra charge. You can catch up on her posts for Strollerderby, too – where she is often slightly less stupid.

Double the cheer with Babble’s list of December Baby Names!

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