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Diablo Cody Vs. Disney Princesses

Diablo Cody, Oscar-winning artistic Wonder Woman behind the hit indy film Juno, recently had a baby girl. So now, like the rest of us moms, she gets to contend with all the joys and challenges of motherhood.

Including Disney’s array of princesses, minor dieties in the eyes of little girls everywhere.

Cody posted to Twitter:

Why are the Disney Princesses always grouped together arbitrarily? It’s like putting RoboCop, Tony Montana and Spock together on a backpack.

The answer, of course, is money. Those characters are worth a lot more to Disney clumped as an iconic lump of princess than they are as individual characters with their own identities and stories.

Cody probably knows that, but she continues to adorably imagine that the princesses are just like real girls. People with agendas of their own.

She goes on:

I just refuse to believe Belle and Ariel would have anything in common.

Disney should make a movie about a princess who’s totally complacent and has no dreams.

Oh, Diablo. Disney has actually made several movies about princesses who are totally complacent and have no dreams. Have you seen Snow White? Or Sleeping Beauty? It took decades for Disney’s girls to develop spunk.

But leaving that aside, what would those lovely tiara-wearing ladies have to say to each other atop a birthday cake, or while perambulating the perfect grounds of a fairy tale castle?

My kids have, of course, imagined thousands of conversations between these fairy tale creatures. Sometimes the encounters end in violence, but usually they’re fairly innocuous.

Here’s the main thing the princesses appear to have in common, Diablo, at least in the minds of three-year-old girls: Being Princesses. Forget dreams, princes and even tiaras. What these girls chat about is princess-hood.

It goes like this:

“Hello, I’m Ariel. I’m a dissatisfied younger princess in an overcrowded court, and I long to defect to the neighboring kingdom. I’m in love with the prince. It’s this whole star-crossed Romeo and Juliet thing, but with singing fish. I think I feel a musical number coming on.”

“I’m sorry, did you say something? I was busy reading about magic and adventure. I’m Belle. My fondest wish is to be caught up in great adventures like the ones I read about. I seem to be wearing a ridiculously pretty dress.”

“That’s a princess gown! You’re a princess, too! Oooh!” Ariel abandons singing in favor of enthusiastically embracing Belle.

Belle drops her book. “A princess! Just what I always wanted. Let’s stand next to each other and Look Pretty!”

Ariel, “Come on! I have some friends you should meet!”

Photo: Raymond Brown

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