There are lots of schools of thought on divorce. There are some people who think their marriage vows are sacred, and nothing but death will do them part from their spouse. Then there are those who believe that circumstances and feelings can change, and that sadly, sometimes divorce is the only course of action for the sake of their emotional, and even physical well being.
I’m blessed with a happy marriage, but I also believe that things can change and sometimes divorce happens. In the instances where couples have kids, I often think it’s better for the kids not to witness an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of their parents staying together.
Still, it’s hard to think divorce is ever an easy or 100 percent right decision for all parties involved, and confirming that is a new study that says young kids whose parents divorce suffer with math, social skills and anxiety and depression for at least two years post-split. It’s the first long-term study to break down the dissolution of a marriage by predivorce, during-divorce and postdivorce stages.
The study, published in the June issue of American Sociological Review, found that parents’ predivorce marital problems didn’t influence the success of their kids at school and socially, but with the onset of the divorce proceedings the kids fell behind and couldn’t catch up for at least two years.
This isn’t the first study that has revealed that divorce can weigh heavily on kids, but this one directly addresses how kids internalize behavior problems that “manifest themselves by way of sadness, loneliness, anxiety and depressions.”
Divorce and postdivorce phases are tougher due to the potential of custody battles, the relocation of one or both parents and a new schedule that divides time between each parent — all of which can affect a child’s ability to see friends and put the pedal to the metal of schoolwork.
Do the findings of this study surprise you, or do they seem about right?
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