Do Children Ever Belong On Reality TV?
The other day I wrote a post about Kate Gosselin in which I found myself defending her. To be honest I had intended to talk some trash about Kate, but the more I read about why she was getting slammed in the media the more I couldn’t understand what the big deal is about Kate. She’s brash, somewhat abrasive and says what she thinks, which can lead to dislike. Especially when those features are showcased on television as you’re going through a very contentious divorce.
I suppose Kate is just someone people like to hate. So yeah, she has a few personality issues (who doesn’t?) but it seems that everyone’s biggest beef with Kate is that she “exploits her children”. Read any article about her on the web and of the hundreds of comments that follow, I guarantee half of them will talk about how she exploits her kids.
Here are my thoughts. If I’ve learned one thing as a parent it’s to avoid discussing how to raise children with anyone. You know how Miss Manners says it’s impolite to discuss politics and religion at the dinner table? Add parenting to that list. People go nuts on this topic. Inflicting their opinions on people as if they’re some sort of parenting expert. In fact, I’d rather talk religion than parenting.
So, when we see parents raising children on reality television, the claws naturally come out. And so much of our ridicule is deserving. Take the abomination that is Toddlers & Tiaras. That poor excuse for a television show should be illegal. Are those girls exploited? Absolutely. Now take the Gosselin children, who are featured in their home environment or on vacations specifically tailored to children. How can that be a bad thing?
As Randee Dawn writes for Today.com, even if what the children are doing on television isn’t harmful, once the cameras turn off, problems can arise when children miss being in the spotlight. She spoke with a man called Robert Galinsky who – get this – is the founder of the “New York Reality TV School”.
There’s a school for reality TV? Oh my.
“But whether cameras create the ham or not, their departure can create as much chaos as their presence”, Galinsky tells Dawn. He added that the eight Gosselin children will now have to fill their days without cameras following them for the first time in years, and that may be a jarring experience. Maybe, but does that mean that while they were on camera their mother exploited them? Or did she take advantage of a very lucrative situation that will ultimately benefit her children? Look at the house those kids are growing up in! Look at all the places they’ve traveled! I read somewhere that she has now saved college tuition for every child.
That, to me anyway, is an entirely different scenario than the little girls featured on Toddlers & Tiaras. Are those girls even paid for being featured on the show?
You also need to take into account all the child stars of non-reality television. What’s the big difference? Why aren’t we all pointing the finger at Jayden Smith’s parents? Are Will and Jayda exploiting him and his sister Willow? Why is the exploitation charge always leveled at Gosselin and not the Duggars? Because Gosselin’s personality is annoying? As Today reports, “Candi Wingate, owner of Nannies4Hire.com, helped Kate Gosselin find a part-time caretaker in 2007, and said she saw nothing worrying on set of “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” (The show’s title changed to “Kate Plus 8” after the Gosselins separated.) “The kids were so natural with the camera crew. They didn’t act any different; it wasn’t a set-up thing. I think it’s a great way for the kids to look back on their childhood.”
Exploitation begs the question of what exactly is the concept of child labor. Children working in commercial television, or starring in sitcoms are actually working. But kids just being filmed doing their thing? It’s not like producers of Kate Plus 8 were creating dramatic situations for the kids. They just filmed them at home and on vacations. Where is the exploitation? Or does the very fact that they are being filmed in exchange for money create the exploitative scenario?
Maybe. There is no guild or union representation specifically for child reality-TV stars. As Dawn says, “That leaves everything up to the parents — who may not be equipped to understand the wider repercussions of their contracts.”
Guidelines for children in reality television are desperately needed. As Galinsky told Today, “Reality TV took the entertainment industry by surprise. No one could have predicted that it would last this long, with no end in sight. Guidelines have to be drawn up at some point to protect these kids, because there’s nothing now.”
On the one hand you could argue that Kate is a good mom who saw an opportunity to provide for her children while showing them the world and being able to stay with them at home full-time and she jumped on it. Isn’t that a whole lot better than her being gone all day while the eight kids get passed from caregiver to caregiver? And how would she have paid for their education before TLC came along?
On the other hand, as Carolyn Castiglia reports, “Dr. Michael Brody, chairman of the Television and Media Committee of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says “Kids in these kinds of shows are not having a childhood, and you don’t have to be a scientist to know what’s going to happen to some of them as they get older. It can be a real disaster for them.” He continues, “Just doing retakes, where they stage a scene and then re-shoot it again because something went wrong, really screws up a kid’s sense of reality.”
Madeline Holler writes that even seemingly harmless shows like Surprise Homecoming in which surprise reunions between deployed soldiers and their families are featured can be harmful.
Even though parents agree to participate in these shows — in fact, beg to — and even though the military has an office devoted to helping shows like this get made, many mental health experts say kids shouldn’t be subjected to it. They say just below the happy surface can be a jumble of emotions for kids, such as profound sadness and lingering confusion as to why the parent left in the first place.
What do you think? Do children ever belong on reality TV or is it always considered exploitation? If that’s the case, why is it that everyone harangues Kate Gosselin about exploitation? What about the Duggars? Does it depend on which reality television show? Are some, like 19 And Counting okay while others, like Toddlers & Tiaras not okay? Also, how do you reconcile children on sitcoms or who star in commercials with the children on reality TV? Is one worse than the other? If you were offered big money for cameras to follow your children as they traveled the world would you do it?







The fact you ask your question with a “should” is enough to answer the question no. Children are not born with an obligation to support themselves or provide their family with a certain lifestyle. Childhood is brief enough and a healthy nuturting environment is critical to a growing child. Truly, what kind of parent would put their child’s life under a microscope so they can live in a bigger house or take exotic vacations? Even child actors have some protection under the law. Do the privileges balance out the loss of privacy. Kate seems to LOVE the attention and feels she is entitled to be a “celebrity.” She has not one ounce of talent or skill as a performer. If she is not talking about herself, she has nothing to say. Perhaps Will Smith does allow his children a “career” as actors but he does not have cameras trailing through their lives to sell that career. Last I looked, Will and Jada were paying the family bills with their careers not the kids. I have yet to see any real actors expose their children to the kind of fishbowl life Kate feels the world wants from her and her children. Sadly, I doubt even if they wanted to, Kate will not be able to “move on” and live a normal, or in her view a mediocre life.
No.
I don’t see the big deal. I worked in our family business from toddlerhood until I left for college -and yes I helped pay part of my college. I worked! I wasn’t playing being myself. Was it bad? Heck no! I learned the value of a dollar, to be independent and self sufficient.
If you don’t like Kate, fine. But be honest about it. (I don’t like her tone but I admire her courage.) Would I have cameras? No, I don’t think people would like me more than Kate. We have rules to live by; we don’t allow our kids to run wild either. Our kids don’t live on junk and fast food. I’m sure glad Kate was able to do it instead of long shifts as a nurse. The woman made $4 mill on DWTS despite the fact she can’t dance and we never saw her kids on that show! She can afford the house from those earnings that had nada to do with kids.
Kids already believe that the world revolves around them. Throw in cameras, make up artists and stylists, the paparazzi and young, impressionable minds and you’ve got a recipe for trouble. The Smiths are no better with Jayden and Willow. We all know the statistics of young people thrust into the spotlight! It rarely turns out well.
It’s nobody’s call to make except those kids’ own parents. I think most people have enough to worry about in their own lives…
For the record the Duggar parents bug me a thousand times more than Kate ever has, and I’d say they’re closer to exploitation as well.
I think there’s a big difference between child actors and having a camera crew invade your children’s privacy all day long.
I think when children are teens or able to at least understand and vocalize whether they want to be a part of it, it’s fine. But I do think it’s ugly of the parents to put infants/toddlers/small children on camera. The Duggars are especially disturbing because they’re pushing a very specific agenda.
I think it’s okay for kids to be on reality television- it’s a case by case basis. Kate’s family has gotten a lot of benefits from it. It would be interesting to interview Cara and Mady about the experience when they’re adults.
I would never allow my child to be on reality tv. I think good rarely comes of it.
I think we are neglecting to consider the individuality of children. Some are more adaptable and easy-going than others. I watched a bit of the Gosslein’s show, until I saw that one of the twins, Maddy, was an extremely sensitive and impressionable little girl. I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt , as if I were contributing to her demise or some such thing. The others seemed totally fine, but among 8, there is probably at least one more similar to her.
I wrote an essay for Babble a year or two ago about the fact that those of us who blog about our families really shouldn’t be criticizing the **idea** of reality TV stars who allow their kids to be on their shows….
http://www.babble.com/celebrity/celebrity-moms/celebrity-culture-jon-and-kate-plus-eight-mommy-blogs/