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Do the Girl Scounts Have a Secret Agenda?

Hold the cookies! Apparently we’ve missed the hidden message behind where our Thin Mints have been coming from all these years. According to Hans Zeiger, a Republican candidate for the House of Representatives in Washington state, the Girls Scouts have a secret agenda, and your daughters are all in danger.

In danger of what, you may ask?

Well, of becoming a member of the “pro-abortion, feminist training corps,” of course! Nevermind the fact that the Girl Scouts have been around since 1912, or that they credit themselves with helping to mold independent, socially-adept young women. No. Since the Girl Scouts allow “homosexuals and atheists” to be a part of their clubs, they no longer offer anything to the budding youth of America.

The quote is coming to the forefront as Democrats work to undercover even more controversial statements made by the candidate. Zeiger reportedly made the comments earlier in the decade, and is trying to backtrack his way out of the statements by saying they “no longer represent his values.” Just a question, then, Mr. Zeiger: If you have nothing to hide, why are you working so furiously to remove all your pre-campaign writings from the internet?

And what happens if the organization doesn’t get back to “teaching real character”? Well, huffs Zeiger, “Perhaps it’s time to look for our cookies elsewhere!”

Please do.

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