The first Father’s Day after my ex and I split I got him a card. Our daughter was only 3 then, so it wasn’t from her – it was from me. A gesture of goodwill. A note to say, “Hey, let’s be friends.”
I gave my ex the card when he picked our daughter up the Friday before Father’s Day. He didn’t open it, which seemed fair, since he wanted to open it on the holiday itself. When my ex returned our child from their Father’s Day weekend together, I said, “What’d you think of the card?” He told me he lost it. And least he had the decency not to fake it, but thank God there wasn’t a gift card inside. I found the unopened greeting a week later inside my daughter’s backpack.
My ex will get something from my daughter for Father’s Day, of course, thanks to her kindergarten teacher. The kids made Father’s Day gifts in school, which makes me feel thankful that my child has a relationship with her father. I remember what it was like to be one of a handful of kids making a Father’s Day gift for their uncle or grandpa. I can imagine the sinking feeling a child who doesn’t really have any men in his/her life must experience when the class project focuses on Dad being Number One. Should Mother’s Day and Father’s Day even be about gift-giving? (The founder of Mother’s Day certainly didn’t think so.) All I wanted for Mother’s Day this year was to spend a beautifully relaxed, peacefully enjoyable day with my lovely little daughter. I’m guessing my ex is planning on much the same for Father’s Day, and I’ll do my part to ensure that’s how his day goes. He can, however, buy his own fancy BBQ card, thank you very much.
Babble’s Special Tribute to Dads: Lessons I Learned