Years ago, it was considered normal for couples to have three or more kids, but today, having more than two children is considered brave. I get it. I have three and I fully understand all the time, expense, and effort that goes into raising a family. I don’t really consider three kids a large family; so many people have 4,5 or 6 or more children. I say more power to them and God bless them because I don’t think that I could handle any more kids than I already have.
That being said, if we chose to have more, it would be our decision and nobody else’s. Some people assume we are finished (which I’m fairly sure we are now since our youngest is 8), but shortly after we had him, questions were abound asking if we were done, along with the smirk that said, ‘I hope you are because you already have three’. I never gave it much thought until I read one mom’s account of how every time someone asked her if she was done having kids, she felt offended. To some women, questioning if they will have more children is taken as an insult.
With everything, the harm isn’t in the question itself, it’s in the intent behind it.
Of course, the decision of how many kids anyone will have or if they are ready for another baby is up to them alone. Why would others feel that they had any right to offer their snarky opinion? Regardless, whether you feel that having a large family will hurt the planet and cause overpopulation or you silently feel that having another child is financially irresponsible, it’s no one’s business but the couple having the child.
Some people come from big families and grow up knowing they want to have a whole house full of kids, and that’s great. Others just love having kids and want to add another child to their family despite already having 3, 4, 5 or more children. I mean do any of us have the right to judge the Duggars’s decision to have a 20th child given that they are raising a whole bunch of happy and fulfilled people?
Isn’t it time we stop passing judgement on other moms once and for all?