I’m not usually a fan of covering random local crime stories, unless it has that certain something extra that makes it particularly interesting. Such is the case with the story of Dorothy Baker, a Baytown, Texas mom, who responded to crisis in the fiercest, most butt-kicking, action heroine-ish way possible.
Ms. Baker was driving home from a local pharmacy with her two sons, ages five and two, when a knife-wielding man crept up from the third row of her minivan, reports Houston-based KHOU.
Note: I am positive I’m not alone in saying this is an actual recurring nightmare I have because I watched Twin Peaks as a teenager and now I am always terrified that Killer BOB is going to be in my rearview mirror.
Ms. Baker, who says she had locked her van doors while in the store, recognized the man as someone who had watched her and her children earlier in the day when they were at the grocery store across from the CVS.
The suspect, now identified as 53-year-old Ismael Martinez, a convicted rapist, demanded money.
“So I asked him how much he needed and he said $200,” Baker told KHOU. “And I told him I didn’t have that kind of cash, I had about $20 in my account, and he said I better figure out a way to get it, or my kids were going to get hurt.”
Lesson to would-be criminals: do not mess around with moms, their kids, and their minivans. Especially a mom like Ms. Baker, who has six kids and is just not having it, Mister.
Ms. Baker surreptitiously dialed 911 on her cell phone. After she ignored his request to make a turn (seriously, she has six kids, and you think she’s going to listen to you, dirtbag?) he leapt into the front row and realized she had dialed 911.
Instinct took over: Ms. Baker ripped the knife out of his hand, pushed him to the passenger seat, and punched him in the face, all while they were still moving.
Imma let that one sink in for a minute.
“And I told him to get the hell out of my car,” she said.
Having just been beat up by a mom, he responded, “fine.”
“He got out and started running and the next thing I thought was if he gets away he can do this to somebody else,” Ms. Baker said.
Ms. Baker followed him in her minivan.
While clarifying that she was only intending to “clip him or something to get him to stop,” I have to say I’m not sad that Ms. Baker “ended up running completely over him.”
Mr. Martinez was taken to a nearby hospital, where he was listed in stable condition. Ms. Baker sustained scrapes and scratches to her neck, arms, and hands.
Ms. Baker doesn’t think of herself as a hero. “I see myself as a mom trying to protect her kids,” she told KHOU. “That’s it.”
I know a lot of moms are saying, “DAMN STRAIGHT I’d do the same thing.” The reality is that it’s impossible to know how you’d react to being threatened with a knife in your own minivan, with two of your kids in the car.
I’d like to think I’d do the same thing. But really? Punching a guy out while still driving (and not crashing) the minivan? She’s not just a hero, she’s a freaking action figure come to life. Hollywood, take note. Maybe a movie that starts with this, and then the mom becomes a vigilante, punching out grown-up bullies and dudes who steal cookie money from Girl Scouts? I would pay to see that movie. Hell, I’ll write that movie.
Also, there should be an action figure. Also, also, this woman should get some kind of trophy for being a total badass. Is there a Badass Mom of the Year Award? No? Let’s make one. I’m on it.
For the first time in a long, long time, I’m a little sad that I’m no longer living in the Houston area, because I totally wish I could take this woman out for a spa day and become BFFs with her.
Well done, Ms. Baker. Well done.
(Photo Credits: iStockphoto, KHOU)
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