I came across this story on Yahoo news today about Toxic Waste® brand Nuclear Sludge® Chew Bars candy being recalled because it’s (wait for it … ) toxic… and thought: “Nah… this is some kind of joke.”
So, I clicked over to the FDA web site, and sure enough—there it is, for immediate release: “Candy Dynamics Recalls Toxic Waste® brand Nuclear Sludge® Chew Bars. (All flavors, by the way.)
Turns out that a recent test performed by the California Department of Public Health has indicated that a lot (#8288A) of the cherry flavor of the candy contains elevated levels of lead (0.24 parts per million; the U.S. FDA tolerance is 0.1 ppm) that potentially could cause health problems, particularly for infants, small children, and pregnant women.
The candy is imported from Pakistan, and distributed nationwide in retail stores and through mail orders. (You can rest assured that no other “Toxic Waste®” brand product is affected by this recall.)
Err… there are just so many things wrong with this picture, I simply have no words. So, allow me to instead share some of the sentiments from people on the Yahoo article:
From Shane: “Am I the only one who noticed that it said “That potentially could cause health problems, particularly for infants”….. Who in their right mind gives babies candy? Especially candy named after nuclear waste…. @#$% is wrong with the people in this world these days?”
Ginny says: “You know, if you’re a parent and you let your child eat a candy from Pakistan called “Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars”, I think you suck at life. But … we all know how adding just a pinch of lead to your candy gives it that extra oomph of flavor.”
Captain Industry says: “Hold on a minute. There is a limit for lead in candy that isn’t ZERO? God Bless the United Business of America and for all it stands! You are what we tell you to eat.”
I don’t know about you, but I feel much safer with this candy off the shelves. Phew. Dodged a bullet on that one, didn’t we?