Seriously, Just Go to Sleep is the G-rated version of the very R-rated Go the F*ck to Sleep, which was a children’s book not for children that was released to the pee-in-your-pants kind of laugh-so-hard-it-seriously-hurt reaction from parents everywhere in 2011.
If you’ve ever tried to get some kids to go the f*ck to sleep, then the original book was right up your alley. But if some of those kids got their hands on the original book, then you already know you had to think a little too hard on your feet as you tried to come up with reasons why they weren’t allowed to look at the book that looked like it belonged in the children’s section of the library.
Problem solved. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep keeps the soul of the first book while leaving out the f-bombs and other inappropriate lines.
Here’s a first look at the book, which might just replace Goodnight Moon as your bedtime book staple:
Please 1 of 6Bleary and dazed I awaken
To find your eyes shut, so I keep
My fingers crossed tight as I tiptoe away
And pray that you're really asleep
Pretty Please 2 of 6The cats nestle close to their kittens
The lambs have lain down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please, just this once, go to sleep.
With Sugar on Top? 3 of 6All the kids from preschool are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
No way, you can't go to the bathroom.
Guess where you can go, my darling? To sleep.
No, Really — Please? 4 of 6The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
I know you're not thirsty. You just had a drink.
Stop goofing around now, and sleep.
Seriously? 5 of 6The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is absurd. This is taking forever.
Stop messing with me, please, and sleep.
Just Go to Sleep! 6 of 6Seriously, Just Go To Sleep is in bookstores now.
All images used with permission from Akashic Books
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