Frightening Baby Preacher


Apparently, Pastor Tipton was debating whether or not to preach this day, which is kinda his job. So when his wobbly son approached the stage, daddy gave him the mic.

Kids at this age do by parroting, but they can’t get all the details right, so they boil actions down to their essence. That being the case, junior’s act is a fairly stinging indictment of daddy’s evangelism. According to the kid, to preach is to:

1) Yell angry nonsense

2) Shake you fists as though someone pooped in your oatmeal.

3) Take overly pauses.

4) Bounce and preen about the stage like a meth-addled peacock.

The kid’s got stage presence, I’ll give him that. So much so, I already sent him a donation. Do babies take out-of-state checks?

The crowd seems to be eating it up and the You Tube poster found it “moving.” If that were my church I’d be plain depressed.

Find more of Cole’s writing at Fun with Cole

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