Gay Parents are the Best Parents?

Actor, Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka vacationing with their twins.

It’s a belief I’ve vocalized in the past when discussing gay marriage with friends: generally speaking, gays make better parents than heteros.  The only reason I’ve come to this conclusion is that gay couples usually have to work really hard to have children.  They can’t just pop ‘em out as easy as we heteros usually can.  So, much like adopted parents, it seems that gay couples are generally really sure they want kids before having them.

Again, that’s generally speaking.

So that doesn’t necessarily mean all gays and lesbians will be amazing parents but, you know, actually wanting children is a pretty good place to start.  So many hetero couples squeeze kids out just because nature has made it easier for them to get knocked up or society dictates getting married and having kids is what you’re supposed to do.

Still, I acknowledge this theory of mine is still just a generalization.  But, generalization or no, a new study confirms my speculation.  As Yahoo News reports, “in some ways gay parents may bring talents to the table that straight parents don’t.”

As Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University in Massachussetts says, gay parents “tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents.”

My theory exactly!

Goldberg, who researches gay and lesbian parenting tells Yahoo “gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals… that translates to greater commitment on average and more involvement.”

Research also shows that another huge difference the children of gay parents show is that they’re usually more open-minded and tolerant of those that are different.  Studies also show that gays and lesbians are more likely to take in difficult-to-place foster children.  Again, this doesn’t mean hetero parents don’t do these same things, (so unclench your sphincter all you exemplary hetero parents) just that gay and lesbian parents are more likely to do so.

Take that, Rick Santorum, you douchebag.  In case you aren’t aware, the Republican presidential candidate said children are better off with a father in prison than being raised in a home with lesbian parents and no father at all. And I’m casting a strong stink-eye in the Pope’s direction as well.  Him in his fancy house with his fancy robes in his fancy car.  I don’t see him taking in troubled foster kids…

According to Yahoo

Catholic opposition aside, research suggests that gay and lesbian parents are actually a powerful resource for kids in need of adoption. According to a 2007 report by the Williams Institute and the Urban Institute, 65,000 kids were living with adoptive gay parents between 2000 and 2002, with another 14,000 in foster homes headed by gays and lesbians. (There are currently more than 100,000 kids in foster care in the U.S.)

An October 2011 report by Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that, of gay and lesbian adoptions at more than 300 agencies, 10 percent of the kids placed were older than 6 — typically a very difficult age to adopt out. About 25 percent were older than 3. Sixty percent of gay and lesbian couples adopted across races, which is important given that minority children in the foster system tend to linger. More than half of the kids adopted by gays and lesbians had special needs.

Research also shows that kids of same-sex couples do no worse than kids of hetero couples in regard to mental health, social functioning, school performance and several other typical life-success measures.

In fact, according to Yahoo, sociologists Judith Stacey and Tim Biblarz found no differences between children raised in homes with two heterosexual parents and children raised with lesbian parents.  “There’s no doubt whatsoever from the research that children with two lesbian parents are growing up to be just as well-adjusted and successful” as children with a male and a female parent,” Stacey told LiveScience.

This article reminded me of this video featuring the son of two lesbians making an impassioned speech about gay marriage.  If ever there was evidence to back up the excellence of gay parenting, this is it.  However, making the statement that gays are the best parents or heterosexuals are the best parents is a sweeping generalization at best.  While many gay parents may bring different talents to the table because of certain life experiences, the same could be said of heterosexuals.  The point is, we shouldn’t put any gender or sexual orientation or nationality in a box.  Meaning, lame-o conservatives like Santorum should quit crapping on gay parents because they can equally rock or suck just like the rest of us alleged adults stumbling through parenthood.

 

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