Yesterday my baby girl hit the six-week mark. For me this meant that my sweet little girl, much like her big sister, was growing all too fast. Before I know it I will be telling her to stop rolling her eyes at me and she will be asking me to knock before I open her bedroom door demanding that I give her a little privacy. Hitting the six-week mark also means that, at any moment now, my lady parts are expected to be reuniting with my husband.
Well before my due date my husband did his research and discovered that at six weeks postpartum my excuses as to why we couldn’t have sex would no longer be valid. Even so, it is important to note that while at six weeks one might be physically ready to resume sex; feeling emotionally or mentally ready may present itself with an entirely different timeline of its own. For me pregnancy was almost agonizing. The toll it took on me physically and emotionally was great and as a result while there was a lot of love in our home there was little-to-no lovemaking. Additionally, early on in my pregnancy we had a scare that resulted in us spending part of my birthday in the Emergency Room. I was bleeding and no, we did not have sex which can at times cause spotting. We left the hospital being advised not to put any “objects” into my vagina, an order we could easily abide by. When we were eventually given the green light, as handsome as my husband is, I had no desire to do anything other than sleep because it was the one time that I wasn’t consumed with how horrible I felt.
Now that I am, what feels like, just moments shy of a potential romantic (just in case he’s reading) encounter with my Mr., I have to admit I’m feeling a little anxious. For 39 weeks it felt like my body wasn’t mine anymore, and my child as precious as she is, wreaked havoc on my body much like her sister did years prior. My husband adores me and thankfully our bedroom lights have an off switch but what if things don’t mirror a love scene from The Notebook. What if it’s awkward? What if it’s painful and more importantly what if the baby wakes up?!
I’ve done my research and the odds are not in my favor. According to the Mayo Clinic, post pregnancy hormone changes can leave your vagina “dry and tender”. They go on to note that sex may not be a gratifying experience due to the fact that “decreased muscle tone in the vagina might reduce pleasurable friction “, which is all the more reason for me to do kegels as I write this. Yes, it is recommended that, just like during pregnancy, kegels be done to tighten those pelvic muscles.
I love my husband and he’s been so patient and so supportive but now he’s so ready. How do I know this? Not because he’s resumed grabbing my bottom to show his affection but because he has mentioned that six week timeline a few times.
To be honest I’m ready to bring sexy back myself but maybe at eight or nine weeks postpartum. Although my husband is easy on the eyes, six weeks feels a little rushed. So my lovelies, I’m reaching out to you. Perhaps you would like to know why I’m asking you given this is my second baby? You see, my firstborn is eight and the genetic pool the second X chromosome came from is no longer a part of my life. And a lot of things about that time of my life really aren’t worth remembering (some of them I really can’t recall) and they make me cringe just a little bit. The best thing about that time in my life is the little girl who has filled my heart with joy from the moment I knew of her existence.
Now back to the matter at hand. Please tell me, how did you get back to love making following your pregnancy? How long did you wait to climb back onto that horse and for those of you whose first time wasn’t reminiscent of a romantic movie, how did you get through the awkwardness?
Photo source: iStockPhoto
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