My husband was given notice three weeks ago that I would be watching the Golden Globes 2011 solo, starting hours ahead of time with all the pre-show glory with countless gratuitous pieces about jewelry, dresses and hair on the E! network. I told him I’ll see to my own meals, but he’s on his own and on the hook for everyone else’s dinner, baths, bedtime stories. I’m not to be disturbed.
After 15 months a year of baseball games, college and professional football, it’s the least I can do for myself. I like the remote control, and peace and quiet — with an emphasis on the remote control and peace and quiet — during awards season. It’s not that I’m opposed to some good family time on the couch in front of the TV, but I don’t want to be disturbed because I actually want to watch the show, and I also don’t think the Golden Globes is the most appropriate show for kids anyway.
The Oscars are a class act. The host might be boring or embarrass him or herself, but that’s usually just because the writing is hokey or stale or the choice of emcees was perhaps not strategic enough. The Golden Globes, on the other hand, delights in pointing the camera at Jack Nicholson as he stumbles around the room, nine sheets to the wind, or as the waiters refill endless champagne glasses (no doubt as part of a sponsorship deal). The host inevitably makes bawdy remarks about who’s had too much to drink, and the actors get visibly and audibly looser throughout the night. It doesn’t help that the winners have to walk through a maze of tables to get to the stage to accept their trophies, but still.
Ricky Gervais was a brilliant host last year, but mostly because he was so snarky (the UK’s Daily Mail calls him “X-rated”). Much of his humor was subtly rancorous enough to go over the head of a child, but do you want to be the one to have to scramble for an interpretation for your kids if they ask why everyone is laughing so hard?
The actors might be similarly loaded at the Oscars, but at least they’re drinking in a green room off camera. And lewd jokes don’t fly at the Oscars.
Some things are better as adult-only, and tonight is one of those nights for me. Break out the stinky cheese and wine. I’m ready to hear the winners announced.
Besides, there are few shows and films on The Golden Globes (or the Oscars, for that matter) that kids under 13 will have seen anyway, so unless you really want to spend the entire program explaining who every last actor is and what they’re nominated for (“Can I see that movie.” “No.”), then it’s best to set your DVR for the Kids’ Choice Awards on Nick. Then you can pop enough popcorn for the whole family.
Will your kids watch the Golden Globes tonight?
Image: Wikimedia Commons