Heard of the Sleep-Under?


sleepoverI feel like Bernie Mac (may he rest in peace) here, but America, it’s time to get a grip.

Parents are opting out on one of the time honored traditions of childhood because they can’t let their little darlings spend an entire night being exposed to . . . well, anything.

Bye, bye sleepover. Hello sleep-under? Half-over? WTF?

I had never heard of this nonsense until I read an article about the parents who say they let their kids spend a late night at a friend’s house, but are willing to drive across town at 10 or 11 to pick the kids up just to have them sleeping under their own roof.

From the AP: “Come in your jammies, bring junk food, play all the games you want, but at a certain point these children will be tucked in under their own roof where their parents know the rules about R-rated movies, Internet use and adult supervision.”

Come on parents! If you’re so afraid your kid might see a naughty skin flick at their friend’s house, why are you letting them out at all? Let’s roll out the bubble and snap on the chastity belts!

Let me just say I had plenty of sleepovers from grade school on, and some of the worst of the debauchery was in my very own home (there was even a co-ed sleepover once – yes, he’s gay). The whipped cream fights? At my house. The attempts to light things on fire? Ditto.

What happened at other parents’ houses was relatively sane and safe in comparison – probably because my parents weren’t likely to drop me off at a house where they thought untoward things were going to happen to me . . . certainly not anywhere that they thought things would get substantially worse after midnight. Just a thought, but why would they have let me go there if they were worried?

I know this will totally blow these parents’ minds, but a little newsflash: The R-rated movies? The Internet use? Can both happen well before curfew.

Oooh, now I’ve gone and said it. Slap me with my big scarlet P for bad parenting and buy me a bubble.

Image: Amazon