Hilarious Dad Offers Spot-On Parenting Observations Via Post-It Notes

Chris Illuminati
Ain’t that the truth

Some of the greatest comedians aren’t ones telling jokes with the funniest punchlines — although there are a lot of really good ones who do that.

Sometimes the best jokes are the ones that aren’t jokes at all, but observations. Comedians who find a way to articulate what’s in your head so that as soon as you hear it, you think to yourself, of course. They give a voice to what you feel and what you know — yet when they say it, it’s more funny than sad. And you never would have thought to say it out loud, even though you know it.

If Jerry Seinfeld had been a dad when his show was still on the air, he would have looked like Chris Illuminati (figuratively, although having never seen him, maybe he does literally, too).

Illuminati is a content editor who works from home with his kids, and it’s there where he started writing everything down on Post-it notes so he wouldn’t forget — you know, things like “feed the baby,” according to The Huffington Post.

The notes then took a sharp turn toward the shrewd. He posted them around his house as well as a Tumblr he created, Message with a Bottle.

When you read some of the notes below, you won’t be surprised to know given their content that Illuminati is a dad through and through. He’s also a stand-up comedian, but once you take a look at the notes that won’t surprise you either.

Take a look:

  • It’s a Job 1 of 15

    A positive outlook is the key to success.

  • Lego-ouch 2 of 15

    On a scale of 1 to Legos, you can only have toys that fall somewhere below a 5 lying around if you ever plan to get up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water.


  • Word. 3 of 15

    But thanks anyway.

  • Take My Wife, Please 4 of 15

    [Insert rim shot here]

  • All Hail the Greeks 5 of 15

    Money well spent.

  • Amen 6 of 15

    At least they already have plenty of couches.

  • Be on the Lookout 7 of 15

    Also, don't trust the silence. When they're little, it's never golden.

  • Oh, Sh*t 8 of 15

    An artist is born. A smelly, disgusting artist.

  • Genius 9 of 15

    More like an all-out alarm, but a warning is a good start.

  • True Love 10 of 15

    It would be a sweet sentiment if his excitement wasn't necessarily tied to the fact that he's excited he can do the kid hand-off.

  • Love and Marriage 11 of 15

    That's all for tonight. You've been great. Good night! *Drops mic*

  • Genius-in-training 12 of 15

    You're never too young to pick up filthy habits.

  • Cheers to That 13 of 15


  • Puppy Love 14 of 15

    The joy of parenting.

  • And Baby Makes Four 15 of 15

    Material, on the other hand, will be plentiful.

All photos used with permission from Chris Illuminati

For more Post-it hilarity, visit Message with a Bottle

More from Meredith on Babble:

Follow Meredith on Twitter and check out her regular column on the op-ed page of The Denver Post at

Article Posted 2 years Ago
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