How the New iPhone Will Make Me a Better Parent

So long, old frenemy

Short of a live-in housekeeper/nanny/sommelier and/or society easing the pressure to avoid things like ingesting a bottle of Valium while performing nightly bedtime rituals with a perennially overtired 3-year-old, the best thing that’s going to happen to my parenting skills is the new iPhone.

When I say I’ve been waiting a long time for today’s new iPhone announcement, I would ask you to take a glance at my badly deformed BlackBerry, if you can stomach the brutality (however, my BlackBerry has asked not to be photographed for fear of further shame due to 26 months of severe abuse from my toddler, so you’ll just have to take my word that it has long since been begging to be put out of its misery).

I’m an Apple geek, to be sure. Not like an IT Apple geek I couldn’t tell you anything about the innards of my MacBook or iPod. But I’ve been a loyal customer ever since my family got an Apple IIe when I was in fifth grade. (Yes, I realize that dates me, but when the highlight of my year is a new phone, all pretension of glamor and dignity flies freely out the window.)

I am an indentured servant to Verizon Wireless, so it was with bated breath that I held out for the iPhone to come over to our side earlier this year. The contract on my phone was long since up, but when I read the reviews of Verizon’s iPhone 4, I begrudgingly chose to wait for this very day, despite the fact that the nine lives of my Blackberry were up about 20 months ago.

I can’t actually really tell you why the new iPhone will make me a better parent, but I just know I will be because of it.

I don’t know from apps. I don’t have an iPad. My BlackBerry is too antiquated to do more than make calls and send and receive emails, and even that’s a challenge on most mornings. But I know there’s a world of iPhone goodness out there for me and my family. I just know it.

I’ll be able to walk around with a calendar for the first time in forever. I stopped synching my iCal with my BlackBerry about a year ago. Each time I did it, I would lose a year or two from my life literally. It kept erasing my past, and no Time Machine tricks could recover my history.

There are Disney Princess apps just waiting to entertain my older daughter in the supermarket shopping cart. There are so many useless time waster-apps that will allow me a few minutes of piece and exploration while I get a precious few minutes to myself in the bathroom each day. The new iPhone will be like the second coming of my life as a parent, and a human being. I can just feel it.

The new iPhone will be mine. I will be a better parent because of it. Of this I am sure.

Will you get the new iPhone? What apps should I get?

Image: Wikipedia

Article Posted 5 years Ago
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