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How To Keep The Spark In Your Love Life After Baby

Having a baby is exhausting. At the end of the day, you and your partner probably can’t wait to crawl into bed…and sleep. Doing anything else between the sheets fades to a distant memory, something fun some other incarnation of you used to enjoy. Sound familiar?

MomLogic offers up some tips to help tired moms hate sex less. This short article contains some of the most depressing love advice I have ever read. As one mom who read it over my shoulder said, “That makes me never want to have sex again. And that’s not right.”

Mixed in with standard advice like “take a cooking class together” and “spend time caring about each other”, this article dishes up some pretty crazy ideas, like:

Keep in mind the 2-6-2 Rule, which says that out of every ten times you have sex, twice it’ll be great, six times it’ll be so-so and twice it’ll be so bad you’ll wonder why you bothered.

If 20% of my intimate encounters went so poorly I wondered why I’d even bothered, I’d be pretty sure I was doing it wrong. In fact, I don’t know if I *ever* made love with my husband and thought it wasn’t worth my time, no matter how tired we both were.

And really, one great night for every disappointing date? Is it unrealistic to expect the great times to outweigh the lousy ones? If they didn’t, I wouldn’t have signed up for a lifetime of doin’ it with this person.

I’m not the relationship expert Judi Dutton is (she’s written a book on the science of sex). But I’m pretty sure this advice doesn’t belong anywhere near my bedroom. Mominatrix wrote a great column this week challenging moms to stay hot. She’s my go-to girl for post-baby sex advice, and I’m taking her words to heart: don’t give up. She says:

There’s absolutely nowhere in any sort of parenting book that says you must lose your style, taste, and ability to use a hair dryer when you become a mother. Sure, you won’t be walking out of the house wearing an evening gown and a full face of make-up, but who says you have to dress yourself in something that screams, “I’ve given up?”

Just like you can keep looking good with a little effort, you can keep the sparks alive in your love life. I’d rather put in a little effort and be rewarded than settle for the 2-6-2 formula.

Photo: winston and michelle

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