How To Write A Blog PostCecily Kellogg
1. Come up with an idea.
2. Google that idea to make sure it’s original. Moan, weep, and gnash your teeth when you realize it’s already been done. A hundred times, and by at least five of your blogging friends.
4. Think of a new idea. Google that one, find only five obscure blogs post from at least three years ago and decide this is the idea for you!
5. Check twitter. Then Facebook. Then Google+. Enjoy three cat videos, squeal over six baby pictures, and post two retweets of things that pissed you off.
7. Immediately become depressed about lack of sources to site in your blog post for this particular idea. Repeat step three.
8. Begin to do creative google searches approaching the topic from all sides so you can make your blog post something slightly more than just an opinion piece.
9. Wonder why you give a shit that your post is more than an opinion piece. Rebel against yourself and decide to just write an opinion piece.
10. Check Twitter. Then Facebook. Then Google+. Watch two cool music videos, spend fifteen minutes saying, “Aw!” while on Cute Overload, and send six DMs. Spend fifteen minutes catching up on your Facebook groups.
11. Check email. Delete six press releases, trash four PR pitches (but put two in your “Crappy Pitch” folder), unsubscribe from two email newsletters you never subscribed to, and answer that one lone email from your mom.
12. Do one more quick check on twitter. Respond to six @ messages.
13. Begin writing post.
14. Get two lines in, realize you need an image, and then spend forty five minutes searching for the ideal photo. First try your own photo archives and spend twenty minutes looking at baby pictures of your five year old. Switch to looking for an image that is a free stock image or has a creative commons license. Consider buying a subscription to a stock photo agency, google agencies, then faint dead away at costs of subscriptions.
15. Get off the floor.
16. Start writing the post where you left off. Get six paragraphs done in the next twenty minutes.
17. Read over the six paragraphs and delete two thirds of what you’ve written. Drop into the writing zone, finally getting the focus right and getting the words flowing.
18. Finish last line of post. Check twitter. See only two @ messages and no DMs, so go back to post.
19. Run spellcheck. Then switch to “preview” mode and proof the post. Make changes you need to make.
20. Hit publish! Promote on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.
Congratulations! It only took you six hours to write that post. Well done.
What? Just me?