You may have noticed that some parents seem more in tune to their iPhones than their babies. For those parents, there’s now an app to translate your baby’s cries. Is that kid hungry? Wet? Mad that mom is ignoring her to play yet another round of Freecell on her phone? This app can tell you what you baby really wants.
The app purportedly can distinguish between five basic infant cries: hungry, tired, bored, annoyed or stressed. They say Unless one of those is a code word for, “Hey! There’s poop in my pants!” these folks are missing one of the big culprits on, “Stuff That Makes Babies Cry.”
So what does baby want? Here’s one guess: maybe the little one wants Mom’s or Dad’s thirty dollars back. The app is currently on sale for a mere $9.99 through the holidays. After that, the list price is a whopping $30. Small price for peace of mind, if it works. But does it?
Not to knock the science behind this app, but I think doing it yourself is the only way this job ever really gets done. Parenting is hard, messy work. Figuring out what the baby wants is one of the first hurdles. While there may be an app for that, I can’t imagine it working.
I also can’t imagine a new parent collected enough to really use it. I know with my babies I felt like I needed eight arms just to keep ahold of the baby and her entorouage of blankets and snugglies and pacifiers and diapers.
Now if Biloop Technologies could bring us an app that changed the diapers, that I would buy. Thirty bucks would be a steal, for that. For Cry Translator, I’m afraid I’d just get ripped off.
I know it’s old-fashioned, but you could keep your cash and try comforting the baby the hard way: by figuring it out yourself.
Would you trust an iPhone app to tell you what your baby wants? Have you tried this one?
Photo: Brandon Baunach