In the years I’ve been blogging, I’ve gotten to “know” hundreds of bloggers. I’ve watched bloggers go from relative obscurity to internet fame, followed by book deals and television appearances, and more. I’ve seen even more go from being full time stay-at-home moms to having careers with agencies, brands, or as freelance writers and consultants. It’s clear that for a fair number of women, blogging has led to amazing success.
Success changes people, of course, and can change the dynamics of family life and the partnerships with the spouses of bloggers. But can it also increase the rate of divorce?
In an interesting post over at MediaPost, Maria Bailey thinks it is. She says in the post, “There is an evolution going on within the homes of mom bloggers. As an observer of human behavior, I have watched it with interest for the past 12 months. As the popularity and success of the social media mom influencers grow, so do the challenges within her marriage.” [sic] But is this true?
The next section of the article is interesting:
Some moms change their eating habits, begin to exercise and eventually transform their bodies. She also spends a lot of time working on her laptop and traveling to keep up with her new life. This is where the challenge begins. Her spouse married the “pre-blogging” woman — the one that was available to him, the one whose focus was solely the family, the one who perhaps didn’t out-earn his salary. [sic]
My husband and I were together for twelve years before I started blogging (20 years together next week!). I’ve lost and gained a fair amount of weight over the years, eaten both poorly and well, and I now out-earn my husband significantly (although he earns a solid income). But my marriage is stronger than ever, and I’ve seen similar patterns play out among my blogging friends.
Ms. Bailey goes on to say that she feels that the divorces happening in the momosphere might lead to changes in how brands market to mothers, but at least one of her commenters, Jen Singer of Momma Said, disagrees:
Let me first say that my career as a blogger, writer and author had nothing to do with my upcoming divorce. Let me also say that in the year-and-a-half since my husband moved out, I still drive a Honda, use Microsoft Office, buy Method soap, and shop at Target, Sports Authority and Pathmark. I am not sure why or how getting a divorce would change that. I may not be a wife anymore, but I’m still a mom. Marketing to me really shouldn’t change, except perhaps when it comes to Valentine’s Day? I dunno.
So, is blogging success killing marriages? Personally, I see a lower divorce rate in my blogging friends than I see in my non-blogging friends. I think that blogging is simply a coincidence; as marriages mature and change – particularly when you add stressors like children and financial burdens and a million other things – sometimes they just fail.
Bloggers just document it as it happens in their blogs.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, and be sure to read the whole piece by Ms. Bailey. It’s a good read.