Interesting question, isn’t it? I found it on the awesome Scary Mommy secret confessional section. What I always love about that section of the site is how many times moms will anonymously confess what they think are the most horrendous thoughts, but as you read them, you think, “I totally get that!”. And I love how readers can, again anonymously, like the post, give hugs, or check off “OMG, me too” .
The actual post I’m referring to goes like this:
“Being a mom is actually easier than I thought it would be…but being a wife is way harder than I expected. Being a grownup in general kinda blows.”
As you can imagine, the comments on this were varied. There were many moms who said flat out being a wife was entirely more difficult, but there were also a few women who said nothing was harder than being a mother. Some were quite rational, stating that every situation is naturally different depending on who you are married to and how your relationship develops.
Scary Mommy posted the following on her Facebook page: True or False: Being a wife is harder than being a mother. Here are some of the responses:
True. How many parents divorce their kids??
False. Being a Mom is waaaaaay harder- on the ego, on the heart, on the pride, on the brain. False!
My husband can take care of himself. And let’s me use the bathroom in peace!
Hmm, that’s tough but I would have to say true as of yet I have never had any doubts about my love for my kids. As much as I love my husband there has been doubts.
False. You are building the foundation for a person’s entire future life as a parent. As a wife, you give as good as you get. As a parent, you give as much as you possibly can no matter what you get in return.
Of course, there is no clear cut answer but I think the question bears some pondering, if only for self reflection. It’s tough. I can say that when my kids annoy me, it’s not for long and I can always understand where they are coming from (even the teenagers), but a husband is vastly different. He’s not your child; he’s an adult. And how often do you fight with your kids the way you do your husband? There is literally nothing my children could do that would make me not love them and have their best interest at heart forever. As one mom commented, how many moms divorce their kids?
I don’t think there is anything that comes close to the pure unconditional love a mother has for a child. Yes, mothering is tough and nerve wracking, even on the best of days, but there is an intense unbreakable bond in being a mother that is fierce and indestructible.
What do you think? Do you find it easier to be a mom? Or a wife?
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