It's All Jon's Fault? No WayBrett Singer
Not to defend Jon Gosselin, but I felt like a comment on Jeanne’s announcement of the Jon – Kate news (get it? Jon MINUS Kate? Oh, the witticism) needed a male response.
Here are excerpts from the comment I’m referring to:
While I realize that Kate has been bossy with regards to her husband, Jon has been such a wimp! Is it her fault that he can’t find the b***s to stand up for himself? He finally makes a stand, only to have an affair and decide he wants to leave. Wow, what a man! … Jon needs to GROW UP. He kept saying I’m only 32 years old’. SO WHAT?? Your age isn’t the issue here Jon, the fact that you are a father and a husband is. Stop thinking with the wrong head you fool! I feel sad for Kate and the kids… I do think those children are happy happy kids and have been very well taken care of. They obviously feel loved. When I first started watching the show I thought Jon was a great dad… now I think he just another typical male, all about himself.
You can read the full version here.
No offense to the commenter, but I’ve heard this “Jon is a wimp”/”Jon isn’t a real man” thing being bandied about elsewhere, and I have trouble with it.
What is a “real man”? Chris Brown, who allegedly hit Rihanna hard enough to render her unconscious? (I say “allegedly” because, thanks to his plea deal, we’ll probably never hear an official version of the story.) I agree that a marriage is something that BOTH people should work hard for, not throw away when things get tough. (Which is something that, to be fair, the commenter also said.) But how can you tell me that “the kids…have been very well taken care of. They obviously feel loved” and then give credit for that only to the mother, in this case Kate? As I understand it, Kate is the one who has been on a book tour and out doing various other promotional events and paid speaking engagements, while Jon was the one who stayed home. How does that make him “another typical male, all about himself”?
I should point out that I don’t for one minute think that Jon is some kind of great guy. Nor do I think Kate is in the running for Mom of the Year. But in truth, we don’t really know what kind of people they are. They have a television show, which is called “reality” but isn’t real at all. It’s TV. It is entirely possible that the Gosselins have other issues that aren’t being discussed on the air.
The biggest problem that I have with the show is the fact that it exists. The parents, Jon and Kate Gosselin, are the people who decided that it was a good idea to have that many children. In fact, they worked hard at it, using IUI. It wasn’t an accident. The Gosselins talk a lot about religion, and have benefited greatly from that association. But the question of whether or not it was a good idea – whether it was moral – to put their children’s lives on television, that they never considered. They have the nerve to blame “the media” for their marital problems. Maybe having that many children, and then televising the whole thing, was just a bad idea. I hate saying “what about the children?” But it really feels appropriate in this case.
So please, go ahead. Blame them both. But the idea that this divorce is happening because “Jon doesn’t have the balls” to stand up to his wife is just as wrong as the idea that the whole situation is due to the “fact” that “Kate is a bitch.” Both things might be true. Or not. But no matter what, it takes two to make a thing go wrong.