Jimmy Fallon knows comedy. And he knows that moms are pure comedy gold.
That’s why he asked the Twitterverse to submit their best mom quotes for his Late Night Hashtags segment.
The result? Genius, of course. Check out the 15 best #MomQuotes from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon:
1. “I don’t smell something, but I feel like I smell something.”
2. Me: Yeah. Chocolate wedding cake. Is that a problem? Mom: you’re going to regret that for the rest of your life.
3. I found a DVD in my parents TV room called “Sacred Sex”. When I asked my Mom what it was, she replied, “very disappointing”
4. Me: “Mom, why are you sweating?” Mom: “I was watching cops”
5. Asked her if we had any bread and butter pickles. She said “nope but those are the bomb”
6. Every time a girl writes on my facebook wall, my mother asks if they are “coming over for Thanksgiving”
7. “If a stranger offers you candy, grab it and run.”
8. To dad about why she ignored his phone call while skiing, “sorry honey, the sun was bright and the powder was bitchin.”
9. Mom: I got your favorite kind of peanut butter! Me: but I’m allergic. Mom: OK, go tell your brother I got his favorite kind of PB.
10. Mom: I feel so badass going through mcdonald’s drivethru right before supper time.
11. “The older I get, the more I love a saxophone.”
12. “Go early to get it. These are really, really popular hams.”
13. “don’t do anything you can’tdo on a bike”
14. After Christmas, caught my mom crying. I asked why, she paused, then said, “When I die, who’s gonna cook the fish?”
15. “I’m 72 years old and I’m not wearing a bra anymore. Get over it”
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