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Journey 2: The Mysterious Island as Reviewed by 3 Kids

I have something to sheepishly admit, I love Dwane “The Rock” Johnson.  I think he’s a big, handsome, strapping cutie-pie. There I’ve said it.

But despite his large cuteness, The Rock is not why I took my kids to see this movie.  There is only one reason why and that reason is marketing. The TV commercial for this movie was so flipping exciting as to incite my 6 and 8 year old into promising they would clean their rooms, do their chores and not fight for days, if I would just take them to see it. Let’s be honest.

It’s worth the cost of a movie for a week’s worth of chores done without nagging or sibling squabbles. Or so I thought.

Here’s where it all went pear-shaped:

  • On the way out the door, my 3 year old sobbed in the most pitiful, heartbroken way that she was being left out so my husband and I caved and they came with us to the movie.
  • I did a crappy job reading the movie times and didn’t realize the show we were buying tickets for was in 3D which meant a $20 surcharge on our tickets. Bringing the total just for tickets to nearly $75.
  • While I was buying tickets, my husband was buying snacks. He spent about $25 on popcorn and drinks for the five of us, bringing the total cost of our movie excursion to just over $100. At which point, I wanted to throw up.

But it was all about the kids, so here’s what they thought:

8 year old daughter: I gave it a 9. Loved it. My favorite part was when the crazy guy tried to get money for the girl from High School Musical to go college. He was my favorite, the crazy guy. He was so ridiculous. (I thought Luis Guzman was really funny, too.) The movie was fun and very adventurous and reminded me a lot of Amelia Earhart, because I know all about her and I used to want to be exactly like her.

I would tell my friends to go see this movie in the theater because it was really good. But I mean, I probably won’t watch it again. This movie is like reading a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book you only want to read it once. Because after that, really why bother?

Take away: 8 year olds will buy into the hype and enjoy watching it. But the hype will be more exciting than the actual movie, once it’s said and done.

6 year old son: I will give it a 6. I liked it a lot. I liked that time when the big, crazy guy fell into the egg. (Luis Guzman again) Because he thought they were rocks but they weren’t! They were eggs! My favorite character was Sean’s step-dad (The Rock) because he was nice and he did the thing where he popped his pecs. That was hilarious.

It wasn’t too scary, even though you told me it would be. The teenagers were pretty strange, though. (His sister nods in agreement which was funny because I thought she would like the teenager element of the movie, but apparently not)

I also think this movie had an important message. That message is this: Never go to the deadliest part of the ocean.

I would tell my friends to go see this movie. Well, I kind of would… Yes, I would.

Take away: 6 year olds will enjoy watching the movie but they’ll be talking about something else by the time they’ve exited the theater.

3 year old daughter: Dat movie was long. And it was noisy. I liked da bees. And when dere was no more popcorn, Daddy got me more. (Free refills, thank the sweet Lord) I was good and I only went potty 2 times. Remember? One was pooping.

Takeaway: I thought it might be scary for her in parts, and for many 3 year olds it would be. Mine, however, could not be bothered to actually watch the movie and instead ate her weight in expensive snacks, scooted back and forth between me and her father, and used the restroom like it was her job.

So 2 out of 5 Miners were dying to see this movie. BEGGING to see it, as a matter of fact. And a hundred dollars later, 5 out of 5 Miners would have been perfectly happy to have watched it on cable. Hope that helps you figure out if you would spend the money to see it the theater in 3D.

Read more from Julie at her blog Rants from MommyLand. Follow Julie on Facebook and Twitter for additional goofy nonsense at no extra charge. You can catch up on her posts for Strollerderby, too – where she is often slightly less stupid.

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