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14 Tips for Keeping Your Childless Friends

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 1 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t be surprised when your homey calls you “buzzin” at 12 am on a Friday night and is confused about how sleepy you sound.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 2 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t assume that same friend will be awake or coherent when you call back to chat during Saturday morning cartoons.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 3 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Do remember that even though you and your girlfriend might both discuss how to deal with nipple chaffing, she didn’t get hers from nursing a teething baby.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 4 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t say, “You’ll get it when you have kids.” She might not have kids. She might not get it. You can fight about it later.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 5 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Do be wary if your 30-year-old bachelor friend offers to take your adorable toddler to your "Mommy and Baby" yoga class.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 6 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t invite single friends over for a BBQ unless they really enjoy playing whiffleball and sipping from a keg filled with apple juice.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 7 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t bring your kids to their BBQ unless you are ready to explain to your 5-year-old why he can’t have Jell-O shots.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 8 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t pack your kid's favorite red juice when going to your friend’s house because it WILL end up being poured or spilled on their white carpet, white sofa, or white dog (true story).

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 9 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Do pack your kid's food for the visit. Shockingly, most single grown-ups don’t have a freezer stocked with chicken nuggets and tater tots.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 10 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Do refrain from openly snorting when your friend explains how their non-existent kid will NEVER do blah blah blah (what your kid does).

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 11 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t look at them with envy when they recount all the places they’ve done the dirty in their apartment — including their walk in closet, kitchen counter, and the chair you are currently sitting on.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 12 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Do get out of the chair.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 13 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Do keep the laughter to a minimum when your friend tries to relate to your parenting woes by describing an interaction with her dog.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 14 of 15

    The Child-Free Friend Zone Don’t write detailed articles about your friends on popular parenting websites.

  • Childfree Friend Dos and Donts 15 of 15
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