I decided this weekend, as I thought about the fact that after being divorced for nigh on three years I still don’t have a vacuum cleaner, that it was time for me to start a new trend: the divorce registry. A divorce registry is a lot like a bridal registry, except instead of reigistering for things you’ll never use (like candlesticks or crystal bowls), you register for all the things you desperately need that you lost to your ex. (As far as I can tell, stores don’t sell dignity, so you’ll have to find another way to get that back.)
I started a divorce registry on Target.com with one item on it - a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Since the crappy cordless one I bought post-D stopped working a few months ago, I’ve been borrowing a vacuum once a week from one of my best friends who lives down the street. But damn it, I want a Dyson, and who says I can’t register for it?! I bought everything else I needed to start my life over myself, so this is one thing I’m not ashamed to ask for. (I thought about starting a Kickstarter project for one, but as a friend noted on Facebook, I’d need to come up with an artistic use for a vacuum cleaner.) During the two years immediately following my divorce when I lived rent free with my mother, I slowly stockpiled all of the items I’d need in order to move into a place of my own with my daughter. Then when I finally moved out of my mother’s house and back to New York City, I incurred all kinds of single mother startup costs, like having to buy my daughter a new bed and mattress, buying dressers for myself and shelving for my books and my kid’s toys. The expenses added up quickly!
Getting divorced is a costly proposition, and if you’ve got a gal pal* who is about to jump ship or is currently going through a split, why not throw her a divorce party? (Look, someone on Zazzle has already created cute invitations for you!) But don’t just make it a toast to her new found freedom – help a sister out by buying her some of these items she will most likely need in order to begin again. Or ask her to start a divorce registry of her own:
*Divorce registries could work for guy friends, too, but men typically make more money and so might not need the help as badly. But if your dude is destitute, by all means, help him out!
Note: you don’t have to buy new items for a divorced pal, either. For example, if by chance you have a gently used toaster leftover from when you yourself combined households with your spouse, that’s a great re-gift!
Main image via Target.com