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Little Girl "Runs Away" Because of Stinky Accusation

By carolyncastiglia |

farting, running away, kids are funny

Farting is funny.

My pal Jeanne Sager over at The Stir unearthed a photo (at left) of a hilarious “running away letter” written – it is assumed – by a little girl who was upset that her parents accused her of farting.  The note, scrawled in purple crayon, reads, “I am runing away becas you think I farted when I dident. PS You are mean.”  It seems fair to presume a girl wrote this.  I think a boy would be less apt to run away over misplaced methane blame.  My daughter has definitely freaked out a few times when I’ve inaccurately accused her of pooping her pants, but thankfully she’s never considered running away, because a hobo’s bundle is hardly fit to carry a giant box of wet wipes and enough clean underwear to get her to New Jersey.

Jeanne writes that the farting runaway’s note made her reconsider laughing at her kids when they’re being dramatic.  I understand the sentiment, especially since my daughter loves to write hilarious things in her various notebooks.  In fact, this weekend I came across a couple of chuckle-inducing notes she’d written.

Inspired, I think, by the recent heat wave, my daughter made a sign saying, “Cold water for the poor. Free please take a sip.”  If I’d found the note while my daughter was around and I had giggled about it, she might have felt embarrassed.  But because she was out of the house when I found it, I was able to unabashedly grin at the sight of it.  We laugh at our kids because we’re tickled and delighted by the purity of their thoughts and feelings, not because we think they’re silly – but of course they can’t understand the distinction.

In addition to my daughter’s edict to the poor, I also found a curious list of words she’d written.  The list consists of two columns; the one on the left side reads, “boy, long, male, penis, he” and the one on the right side reads, “vagina, female, vulva, she.”  As regular readers know, I laughed out loud the first time my daughter said the word penis, because penises are hilarious.  So of course I took a photo of the list and sent a picture text to my mother (via my aunt, because my mother does not have a cell phone.  Which is also hilarious.).  After a discussion about how it is that my 5-year-old knows these words (since they were as surprised as I was that kindergarteners get anatomy lessons using technical terms), my aunt texted, “Why does long go with penis? Isn’t that setting her up for disappointment?”

Ha.  See?  Penises are funny.  Farts are funny.  Crying because you’re upset someone thinks you farted is funny.  There’s no need to run away, children.  Your parents aren’t laughing at you, they’re laughing at your brilliant simplicity.  And your stinky butt.

Read more about the sensitive child– and how it can be a good thing

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About carolyncastiglia

carolyncastiglia

carolyncastiglia

Carolyn Castiglia is a New York-based comedian/writer wowing audiences with her stand-up and freestyle rap. She’s appeared in TONY, The NY Post, The Idiot’s Guide to Jokes and Life & Style. You can find Carolyn’s writing elsewhere online at MarieClaire.com and The Huffington Post. Read bio and latest posts → Read Carolyn's latest posts →

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3 thoughts on “Little Girl "Runs Away" Because of Stinky Accusation

  1. Maggie says:

    I found your article so funny! Unlike the dear little one who was offended at such an accusation, when my daughter (almost 3) does it, she says proudly “I farted”
    Yes, we’re one of those family’s that find farts funny :)

  2. Mistress_Scorpio says:

    Penises are hilarious.

  3. Jennifer says:

    My kids also announce and giggle when they, or someone else, farts. How one can’t is beyond me. But, they do at least say excuse me afterwards. Funny stuff here!

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