14 Little Ways Our Kids Drive Us Majorly CrazyEllen Seidman
Disclaimer: despite what we are about to say we love and adore our children. Yet… sometimes they have tendencies to drive us crazy. If we step on ONE MORE lego brick or have to read you Goodnight Moon for another consecutive time we’re going to scream!
Here are fourteen little ways our little ones drive us majorly crazy:
1. Playroom cleanup
Every. Single. Second. you spend picking up the eleventy billion pieces of games and toys.
2. Post-diaper change poop
You’ve just changed the diaper…and your darling takes a dump. There’s something about a clean diaper that’s irresistible. How poop-tastic.
3. Fighting for your phone
Arguing with your child over who gets to use your mobile device. #annoying
4. Getting caught purging
Being spotted tossing out a piece of your child’s “artwork,” one of several hundred thousand scribbles on a piece of paper you can no longer store, and not knowing what to say when your child asks piteously, “Mommy, why did you throw out my picture?”
5. AWOL objects of obsession
OMG! Sophie the Giraffe is missing!
6. Eek! You’ve become A MOM
When your child starts giving perfectly rational counterarguments to what you’re asking her to do and finally, your only recourse is to say, in a louder voice then you’d like, “Turn OFF the TV because I’M your mother AND I SAID SO!”
7. Listening to faux distress
The whining. Oh, the whining. Where’s the “off” switch?!
8. 8: Read. Repeat. Read. Repeat.
Having to read the same board book several times in a row night after night after night—perhaps the purest form of parent torture.
9. A dull playdate
Getting stuck on a playdate with a mom you’re not that into (perhaps the second purest form of parent torture).
10. Dealing with food fights
Listening to the kids squabble over who got the bigger half of the cupcake/big cookie/slice of cake/slice of pizza/any shared food in the universe.
11. Public proclamations
The day your tot decides it’s funny to tease you about your private parts…in public. “Mommy has a BA-GINA! Mommy has a BA-GINA!”
12. Getting guilted
When you promise to do something for your child — say, buy him a goldfish on the weekend — and you innocently forget and he calls you on it with the words “You never remember to do stuff!” Dagger right to the heart! Guilted!
13. Mushball daddy
When you tell your child he can’t have something, and he goes and asks Daddy. Who says yes.
14. Hearing the “B” word
Three words: “Mommy, I’m boooo-oooored.” You have eleventy billion pieces of games and toys and you’re bored?
Don’t judge us. We may want to scream our heads off, but we would never take away your Legos and we will always read you your favorite story one more time.