Maddening Moments of Momhood 1 of 15
1: Playroom cleanup
Every. Single. Second. you spend picking up the eleventy billion pieces of games and toys.
Maddening Moments of Momhood 2 of 15
2: Post-diaper change poop
Youve just changed the diaper...and your darling takes a dump. Theres something about a clean diaper thats irresistible. How poop-tastic.
Maddening Moments of Momhood 3 of 15
3: Fighting for your phone
Arguing with your child over who gets to use your mobile device. #annoying
Maddening Moments of Momhood 4 of 15
4: Getting caught purging
Being spotted tossing out a piece of your childs artwork, one of several hundred thousand scribbles on a piece of paper you can no longer store, and not knowing what to say when your child asks piteously, Mommy, why did you throw out my picture?
Maddening Moments of Momhood 5 of 15
5: AWOL objects of obsession
OMG! Sophie the Giraffe is missing!
Maddening Moments of Momhood 6 of 15
6: Eek! You've become A MOM
When your child starts giving perfectly rational counterarguments to what you're asking her to do and finally, your only recourse is to say, in a louder voice then youd like, "Turn OFF the TV because I'M your mother AND I SAID SO!"
Maddening Moments of Momhood 7 of 15
7: Listening to faux distress
The whining. Oh, the whining. Wheres the off switch?!
Maddening Moments of Momhood 8 of 15
8: Read. Repeat. Read. Repeat.
Having to read the same board book several times in a row night after night after nightperhaps the purest form of parent torture.
Maddening Moments of Momhood 9 of 15
9: A dull playdate
Getting stuck on a playdate with a mom youre not that into (perhaps the second purest form of parent torture).
Maddening Moments of Momhood 10 of 15
10: Dealing with food fights
Listening to the kids squabble over who got the bigger half of the cupcake/big cookie/slice of cake/slice of pizza/any shared food in the universe.
Maddening Moments of Momhood 11 of 15
11: Public proclamations
The day your tot decides its funny to tease you about your private parts in public. Mommy has a BA-GINA! Mommy has a BA-GINA!
Maddening Moments of Momhood 12 of 15
12: Getting guilted
When you promise to do something for your child — say, buy him a goldfish on the weekend — and you innocently forget and he calls you on it with the words You never remember to do stuff! Dagger right to the heart! Guilted!
Maddening Moments of Momhood 13 of 15
13: Mushball daddy
When you tell your child he cant have something, and he goes and asks Daddy. Who says yes.
Maddening Moments of Momhood 14 of 15
14: Hearing the "B" word
Three words: Mommy, Im boooo-oooored. You have eleventy billion pieces of games and toys and youre bored?
Maddening Moments of Momhood 15 of 15