Mom Fears and Worries May Never EndDanielle Sullivan
My favorite part of the day is when all my kids are home. I was telling this to a mom of one of my son’s classmate’s last week, while we were discussing how our older kids started to go out alone as preteens, and how we liked that they have cell phones so we can communicate with them when they’re on their own. The other mom said she’ll call a few times over a span of a few hours to see what her son is doing. I’m a little more relaxed in that I only really want to know where my child is going, who they are going with, and when they’ll be home. I also expect them to text me back if I text them, but I also don’t abuse that by texting or calling a lot.
Still, even with my oldest, I worry. My mother-in-law tells me that she still worries about her youngest…in his 30s, and that unfortunately, it will probably never change.
Reading Liz Kozak’s piece on Huffington Post entitled, “49 Parent Fears and How To Ease Them“, I realize that like Liz, many of my worries only began after I had kids. Before kids, I didn’t ever worry about safety (mine or my family’s) and I admit I rarely worried about what impact world events had on us specifically. Liz writes about things that worry her now that her baby daughter was born, like:
-Nuts (I ate peanut butter and then kissed her — and then hated myself for a day)
-Cancer (The baby, me, my husband, everybody we love)
-The baby rolling over on her tummy at night and suffocating
-Someone breaking in at night
Her list is extensive and while she admits she was somewhat reluctant to write it for public viewing after she saw it written down, I agree with her that she probably represents a lot of today’s moms who are so filled to the brim with parenting information and news that we sometimes, despite all our effort to do otherwise, allow our minds to wander and consider the worst.
-Choking (partially because I nearly choked on a grape candy when I was six but also partly from covering news stories of kids’ who have choked in school)
-Crossing the street and cars in general (there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t read of someone getting hit by a car)
-The subway (My kids are street safe but there are definite characters in the NYC subway system)
-Head trauma (my oldest nearly broke her face- literally- when she was 7 while riding a bike and my middle daughter fell down a flight of stairs at 13 months so I guess the fear lingers)
The looming world crises do concern me but they don’t make me cringe on a daily basis. I do believe that we must learn to accept things we cannot change, and also the fact that we never really know what can or will happen at any given time. We don’t have control, even as parents and we must learn to accept it. I’m trying, really I am. When my kids were babies, I had all the typical new mom fears. SIDS was probably my biggest fear. Now that my kids are older, my fears have changed but they haven’t gone away completely, although I wish they had. And I think my mother-is-law was right when she said the never ends. Hopefully they ease though…I’m counting on it.
What worries you most as a parent? What did you worry about that doesn’t bother you anymore, and how did you stop worrying? Or are you the type that really doesn’t worry much? If so, please share with us how you do it!
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