As he described it, he got into his car and saw an envelope on the seat. Inside was a letter. “I know that you do some terrible, terrible things,” the letter said. “And I can prove that you do these terrible things.” The host continued, “and sure enough what was contained in the package was proof that I do terrible, terrible things.”
My favorite line was when Dave says that the guy is planning to write a screenplay about the “terrible things” Dave has done, “and that’s good news for anyone, isn’t it?”
Here’s the video:
Apparently Mr. Letterman has done these “terrible terrible things.” What were they? Stupid Pet Tricks? No, he “had sex with women” who worked on his late night talk show. “Would this be embarrassing? Yes it would. Especially for the women.” I know, I know. Good joke. Everybody laugh. (Anyone get that reference? I doubt it.) Not that I condone Dave’s dalliances, especially if he dallied while he was with his now-wife and mother of his son. But this does show why Dave is a more interesting entertainer than Jay Leno. Can you imagine Leno sharing anything resembling a real emotion on the air? Or even having a real emotion, even off the air?
By the way, Letterman’s ratings are much higher than Conan O’Brien’s. Can anyone explain to me why NBC took Leno, who had much higher ratings than Letterman when he was the host of The Tonight Show, off the air, only to put him back on at 10pm, thereby hurting multiple time slots in their evening lineup? I know, who cares, right? But there is a lot of money at stake. Television is big business. Employs lots of people. So if these shows flop, not so funny joke. Everybody not so much laugh.
In other news, Newt Gingrich’s American Solutions for Winning the Future took back an award it had given to Dawn Rizos, the owner of a, ahem, Gentlemen’s Club. Apparently they didn’t know what kind of business she was running. You know, until they actually gave her an award. Rizos was going to be the 2009 Entrepreneur of the Year. Ha ha.
Speaking of sex and politicians, apparently Nevada Senator John Ensign tried to get a job for the husband of a woman he was having an affair with. He also helped out in other ways. Oops.
Chicago really wants them Olympic Games. They even have the President of the United States stumping for them.
I know it looks bad to those who dislike President Obama, but he is from Chicago, and in general it’s considered a good thing for a U.S. city to play host to the Olympics. As long as that city isn’t New York. We have enough people here already.