Naps May Be More Complex Than You Think, So When Do You Stop Enforcing Naptime?
When is it too late for a daily nap?
My first daughter was a sleeper. She woke every 4 hours as a baby and then settled into a routine, quickly sleeping throughout the night and taking two naps per day. Then it slowed to one afternoon nap until she was about 4. My son had a similar schedule and he also enjoyed sleeping. My second daughter, however, was a whole other matter. She barely slept and barely ate. It was always a struggle to get her to eat enough at mealtime as a baby. Then she’d settle down for an afternoon nap only to wake up 15 minutes later. I tried to enforce naptime as long as possible, but by age 2, it just wasn’t happening anymore.
Dr. Perry Klass writes about the complexity of kids taking naps in a recent New York Times piece, and the process is entirely more complex than most of us would ever think. She says “napping in children actually is a complex behavior, a mix of individual biology, including neurologic and hormonal development, cultural expectations and family dynamics.” Infants sleep between feedings, and older babies generally take a morning and afternoon nap, which gradually whittles down to one afternoon nap. While this is the general pattern, she points out that “individual children’s sleep needs and sleep patterns tended to be consistent through age 10. In other words, children who slept less than their peers as infants grew into older children seemed to need less sleep.”
The article mentions a study done by Dr. Monique LeBourgeois, a sleep scientist at the University of Colorado at Boulder questioning how napping affects the cortisol awakening response, which is a burst of hormone secretion that occurs shortly waking in the morning:
They showed that children produce this response after short naps in the morning and afternoon, though not in the evening, and it may be adaptive in helping children respond to the stresses of the day.
By experimentally restricting sleep in young children, and then analyzing their behavior in putting puzzles together, Dr. LeBourgeois’ group also is quantifying how napping — or the lack of it — affects the ways that children respond to situations. “Sleepy children are not able to cope with day-to-day challenges in their worlds,” she said. When children skip even a single nap, “We get less positivity, more negativity and decreased cognitive engagement.”
Yet through all the sleep research, there isn’t anything that can show parents exactly when a child should stop napping. When should a parent let a toddler who refuses to sleep give up her nap? When should a parent discourage a child from napping if he is approaching full-time school age?
And let’s not forget the social and family issues that play a part in naptime. Sometimes I would finally get one of my toddlers into a long nap only to have to wake them to pick up an older sibling from school. Also, most moms need a break in the day so an afternoon nap is a matter of great importance. It helps moms recharge. Yet often the more we want our baby to nap, the less they will, but for some children, naps are just too difficult to do on a regular basis. My second daughter never became accustomed to taking naps, and I couldn’t figure out why but I did try as much as I could to go with the flow. I’d still try to get her to nap each day but after a half hour, when I knew it wasn’t going to happen, I just let her play quietly or thumb through a book.
Perhaps Dr. LeBourgeois sums it up best: “I think there’s a dire need for adults in general to be in tune with individual children’s physiology. What are the capabilities, and what are the limits?” If you know you’re child will be stressed, cranky and miserable without a nap, set aside time every day for that nap, but if your child starts to resist napping, another method of relaxation might be better for them.
When did your child stop napping? If you have more than one child, were their naptimes similar or vastly different?
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How to get your child ready for naps at any age
Mine stopped around 2.5-3 years. He is in pre-k in Texas. The state forces naps in school until age 5. So he has to lay down for 2 hours everyday. He eventually falls asleep & any kind of nap means he is up till 10-10:30 every night. I stopped fighting long ago. He is 4 down & I am counting down until he goes to kindergaden where naps are not required.
My first daughter stopped napping at 2. I continued to try to get her to nap for awhile and eventually gave up because it just wasn’t happening. I’d end up frustrated and crazed and she still didn’t nap. In daycare, she wouldn’t sleep and ended up “getting in trouble”. They eventually just sent her down to the office to hang out at nap time so she wouldn’t disturb the other kids. She is 7 now and still needs less sleep than other kids.
I also have twin 3 y/os. They still nap in the afternoons though they are beginning to give it up. I’d say they nap every other day or every 3rd day for about 2 hours. The no nap days, we have them relax and read or play quietly in their room. I am going to miss those naps when they are finally gone.
Both of my kids stopped napping regularly at about the same time they started pooping in the potty (one was two and a bit, one was four and a half!) One of those parental existential dilemmas.
Oh, please don’t let nap time go away. Unless it means my kid goes to sleep earlier at night.
My son had stopped napping right around the time he turned two(@Rennee -which also coincided with when he became potty-trained). We enforced a quiet time in the afternoon where he had to be in his room, looking at books or quietly playing with stuffed animals on his bed until 4 though. My daughter is only 8 months right now, but she’s still taking 2 naps a day and her brother was down to one nap a day by then, so we’ll see with her. FWIW my son is currently being evaluated for ADHD, and I’ve read that some kids with ADHD do not require as much sleep as other kids.
I never “enforced” naptime. All three kids had very different sleep needs. Chid 1 napped daily until she was over 4. Child 2 stopped napping at 18 months and if you inisisted he nap, he’d be up until all hours of the night. Child 3 was a cat napper, even as a baby, and yes, it was somewhat annoying.