That how we got our babies in the first place, am I right, ladies??? A poll over at YourTango suggests that single moms are gettin’ it on, which is very reassuring news if you ask me. 25% of the women who responded are single or divorced moms who have had non-love/non-relationship sex and feel it’s positive to explore their sexuality. However, 13% of respondents said they don’t want sex without love and/or serious commitment, so they abstain.
Oh boy. 13% of you could be waiting a long time…
I’m a divorced, single mother. After I split with my ex, I was so broken down emotionally, sex was the last thing on my mind. I know some people (especially men) are able to jump out of their marriages into multiple beds, but I didn’t. Because I couldn’t. But eventually I did want to start having sex again, and so I waited until the right moment came along and had a perfectly bland textbook one-night stand. And I’m so happy it happened that way. His semi-hard whiskey dick provided exactly the gentle nudge I needed to get back in the game. (He was lovely, the whole thing lovely and very sweet really, but in hindsight I think he may have been married. No ring though. Not my fault!)
Anyway, the great thing about co-parenting with an ex is that it allows you both to have sexy time. (With other people. Not with each other. That’s something you should never do! Though I did think about it once. I asked my ex to have sex with me and he said okay, but then we started talking and I made him cry about how he’d mistreated me, and that was so much better than an orgasm.) A few weeks after I popped my divorce cherry, I saw the opportunity for another one-nighter and took advantage. Eventually I started dating someone, and though it didn’t work out long-term, we had so much sex. Makeup sex. Not the kind of sex you have after a fight, the kind of sex you have after you haven’t had that kind of sex for years. The kind of sex that makes you happy to be alive. The kind of sex that makes you want to let your kid have ice cream for breakfast. The kind of sex where you’re angry and crying and laughing all at the same time! (Oh, just me? Okay.)
Now that we’ve stopped seeing each other, I don’t know when I’ll have sex again, and I don’t really care. I like sex as much or more than the next guy, but I have to feel comfortable with someone to have sex with them, so that means really random one-nighters are out of the question. (And probably aren’t very safe, anyway.) YourTango suggests “friends with benefits” as a healthy solution, but I don’t know. So many of my gal pals have stories of those types of relationships going wrong. The common notion is, “someone always gets hurt,” because it’s hard to have sex without getting emotional (just nod your head and play along, fellas). So I guess I’ll just have to wait this one out and see what happens. When my daughter’s away, maybe I’ll go to a movie with one of those moms who’s abstaining ’til she finds true love. I’m sure she could use a pick me up.
Moving in with single moms: Is shared housing the new shape of parenting?