Nobody Cares About Your Stick Figure Family (Photos)

stick figure family, stick figure decals, nobody cares about your stick figure family, car decals, divorce

Run, family, run!

When Joslyn showed the gang here at Strollerderby the “Making My Family” decal she saw on the back of a Cadillac Escalade, I had to laugh. It’s one of a new assortment of decals that mocks the “stick figure family,” and though I would never put anything so crass on my car, I do think it’s kind of hilarious. I don’t vehemently hate stick figure family decals, but as a divorced, single mother, I’m generally no longer a fan of anything cute that shoves a prized nuclear family in my face. “Oh look, you have an intact family! Thank you for bragging to the whole world about what a special genius you are! Oh, and your kids like soccer? That’s so cute! They’re just like EVERYONE ELSE’S KIDS.” (Don’t key the car, Carolyn. This isn’t about you. Just breathe it out and go get another cup of coffee.)

I tend to keep my bitterness to myself in public (so I have a reserve to blog and perform live comedy about later), but some people just don’t want to hide their contempt. And for those folks, the “Nobody Cares About Your Stick Figure Family” genre was invented. The classiness level of these decals hovers right around “Calvin peeing on stuff.” But still, I snickered:

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  • Chainsaw 1 of 9
    Chainsaw
    It would be weird if one of the kids was named Jason...
    Photo credit: imgur
  • If you think your family’s the bomb… 2 of 9
    If you think your family's the bomb...
    You're gonna get bombed!
    Photo credit: Geek Alerts
  • Zombie 3 of 9
    Zombie
    If you've got brains, you better run!
    For sale on EBAY
  • Monster 4 of 9
    Monster
    It's about to be a demolition derby up in here!
    For sale on EBAY
  • Alien 5 of 9
    Alien
    Stick figure abduction!
    For sale on Amazon
  • Accident 6 of 9
    Accident
    I guess stick figure decals really "bug" some people.
    For sale on EBAY
  • Stick Figure Stick-up 7 of 9
    Stick Figure Stick-up
    Maybe a little therapy is in order?
    For sale on CutRiteFX
  • Bad Seed 8 of 9
    Bad Seed
    I definitely wouldn't park near this guy.
    Photo credit: We Know Memes

    But my personal anti-stick family fave is......

  • Stick Figure Divorce 9 of 9
    Stick Figure Divorce
    Hahaha... AND THEY KEPT THE CAT.
    Photo credit: CBS

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