Spongebob Squarepants? 10 More Cartoons That Could Ruin Your Kid

spongebob squarepants, dj lance

If Spongebob is messing with your kid's brain, what's this guy doing to it?

The world is stunned to learn that “SpongeBob SquarePants” is not — I repeat, not! — turning 4-year-olds into prodigies of self-control, moral rectitude or focused attention. Instead, it’s kind of messing with them.

A new study found that the popular Nick cartoon’s editing is too fast-paced — scenes change every 11 seconds and there’s “lots of frenetic movement in between …” Just nine minutes of SpongeBob set the kids in the study up for flunking marshmallow tests and getting disqualified from Simon Says.

The ones who watched “Caillou” were perfect angels.

If quick cuts and frenetic scenes are a problem, we’ll have more than “SpongeBob SquarePants” to blame for spoiling the next generation. If today’s news has you editing the DVR during naptime, be sure you cancel these 10 cartoons as well. A typical episode features quick cuts, packed scenes and/or less than soothing music and dance sequences. Seriously, no scrutinizing DJ Lance? And they call themselves “scientists”!

10 more frenetic, fast-paced, kid ruining cartoons — as determined less by science, more by experience. What do you think? Is SpongeBob, or any of these cartoons, really so bad?

Here are a few kids cartoons Carolyn says you should be watching.

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  • Phineas & Ferb 1 of 10
    Phineas & Ferb
    Just like Spongebob, this Disney cartoon's target audience is for the older-than-4 set. Also like Spongebob, the scenes are frenetic and fast-paced and feature lots of running gags and inside jokes.
  • The Backyardigans 2 of 10
    The Backyardigans
    This animated musical adventure features five computer-animated animals trying to turn their backyard into fun adventures. Some of the story-lines squish a day-long adventure into the length of an episode with lots of songs and dance of different genres. Creators of this show target 2- to 10-year-olds, but if you're looking for calm and lulling, you might want to check a different backyard.
  • Wonder Pets 3 of 10
    Wonder Pets
    This cartoon-y operetta features the aquatic and land adventures of a guinea pig, a turtle and a duck. Central to each episode is teamwork (an earworm -- sorry!), praise and other values. But the animated photos are choppy, the scenes short and sometimes difficult to follow for the youngest viewers. Just like no 2-year-old can really follow Patrick.
  • The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That 4 of 10
    The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That
    Dr. Suess books are a quick, engaging read, but the rhymes and repetitious riffs are lost in this TV translation. What's left is a show that's as goofy as Spongebob and paced nearly the same.
  • Yo Gabba Gabba 5 of 10
    Yo Gabba Gabba
    DJ Lance and his fuzzy friends' show was created not by network executives but fathers. Unlike Spongebob, the background is an eye-searing white. But like Spongebob, episodes jump quickly from scene to scene, contain inside humor aimed at parents, and is popular with teens and college students. You have to wonder if it could undermine a Simon Says champion as efficiently as the population of Bikini Bottom.
  • The Fairly OddParents 6 of 10
    The Fairly OddParents
    If the researchers who condemned Spongebob Squarepants think that cartoon's scenes are short and brain-zapping, they should run this program through their tests. The Fairly OddParents characters are on screen for just a few seconds at a time. This show makes the commercial breaks for Gushers seem soothing.
  • Rescue Heroes 7 of 10
    Rescue Heroes
    Good clean fun, these manly men rescuers. But if it's short scenes and too much action that make for bad kids TV, then throw this one in the trash heap too.
  • Leap Frog 8 of 10
    Leap Frog
    Of course, this popular electronic learning system has cartoons available for streaming on Netflix. No plots, no real characters and non-stop motion. If that's bad then this isn't good.
  • Pucca 9 of 10
    Pucca
    This cute niece of noodle shop owners is in love with a Ninja who she inadvertently outshines in nearly every episode. Little ones are attracted to the simple drawings and squeaky cute voices. But the action is frequent, surprising and all over the place. Remember, it only takes nine minutes to lose all control!
  • Power Rangers 10 of 10
    Power Rangers
    The thing about Power Rangers, and other shows like them, is no one expects them to do anything other than trigger ADHD-like symptoms. For that, I say kudos. And also? Just find something else for the little, little ones to watch.

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Main image: babble.com

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