Nurtureshock Says: Spank Those Kids, Maybe
Just when you thought the spanking vs. no-spanking debate couldn’t become any more heated, one of Babble’s favorite set of parenting experts has entered the fold to put us back at square one.
NurtureShock co-author Po Bronson talked to the experts in a recent study on corporal punishment, and it turns out the kids who suffered more than one or two whacks on the butt may be no worse off than those kids with pristine baby butts.
Yes, when I waded into the article over at Newsweek.com it looked like those of us in the anti-spanking crowd (myself included) might need to eat a nice black piece of crow. Tough stuff for this vegetarian mama, let me tell you.
As researcher Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe told Bronson, “those who’d been spanked just when they were young ─ ages 2 to 6 ─ were doing a little better as teenagers than those who’d never been spanked. On almost every measure.”
Gulp.
There is some good news for those of us in the non-spanking crowd: the kids who were spanked up through ages 7 to 11 were slightly worse off on “negative outcomes,” slightly better off on “positive outcomes.” So at the bad stuff, they were worse than our kids; at the good stuff, better than our kids? And kids still being put over the knee in teenagehood are officially in trouble.
An even bigger issue: Gunnoe and co. are still looking at whether it’s discipline style as a whole that’s to blame or simply the hand on the butt. As Bronson posits,”spanking regularly isn’t the problem; the problem is having no regular form of discipline at all.”
Which comes back to an argument I’ve often had with parents on the other side of the fence: reactionary spanking done in anger does nothing more to quell a kid’s behavior than parents who ignore their kids’ ill behavior. Every form of discipline must have consistency; without it, you might as well leave the kids to raise themselves.
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Every time I see a shift like this, I wonder again why any of us bother reading parenting advice. Not even the “experts” can agree on anything for more than ten minutes. That said, I’m not surprised by this. All of my friends and I were occasionally spanked as children, we all agree that we occasionally deserved it, and we’re all relatively happy, productive citizens.
I’m sure kids could be trained quite well with shock collars, and they would think it was fine if it was a culturally sanctioned practice. But isn’t the point of not spanking also to reduce the amount of violence you perpetrate, not simply having kids that do well on various measures?
i think that there is such a huge difference between spanking and beating your kids, and so many people see it as black and white when it’s just not. Should you hit your kids out of anger? no, absolutely not. should you spank your kid when they are putting themselves or others in danger? sometimes yes. i think timeouts are a highly effective form of punishment that work on a large majority of children out there, but sometimes, even typically well behaved kids get out of control and do something not safe and and as a parent you might need to do something quick and effective to get the point across that what they were doing is not ok and will not be tolerated. spanking should be rare, and never out of anger and just like a timeout, always followed by an explanation of what they did wrong..
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like “Supernanny” and “Dr. Phil” are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit http://www.nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
The vast majority agree that child buttock-battering isn’t healthy for kids. A marginal amount (mostly religious Fundamentalists) think child bottom-slapping is a good thing.
U.S. Congressman George Miller, Chairman of the House Education Committee introduced Legislation this month to Protect Children from Abuse in Schools by Preventing the Use of Harmful and Deadly Restraints and Seclusions on children in schools to provide Federal Oversight that will hold school employees accountable, yet the legislation FAILS to ABOLISH Physical/Corporal Punishment.
It is a dirty little secret that children continue to be struck with boards for SCHOOL discipline purposes in 20 states. It is a dangerous practice, a practice that is not evidence based, and puts us at odds with over l00 countries which have banned it.
Government Officials IGNORE research indicating corporal punishment is harmful to children, promotes anti-social behavior and lowers their IQ’s due to stress from fear and official position statements of trusted Children’s Health and Education Organizations OPPOSING Corporal Punishment of Children in Schools including The American Medical (AMA), American Academy of Pediatricians, National Parent Teacher (PTA), National Mental Health and Prevent Child Abuse America.
.
A school discipline policy should be designed to guarantee the safety of students and staff, create an effective learning environment, foster respect for others, and teach students how to resolve conflicts.
Corporal punishment achieves none of these goals, so why is it still around?
Worldwide MEDIA exposure regarding neglect/indifference by Government Officials to protect Children’s Fundamental Human Rights in SCHOOLS will result in PUBLIC OUTRAGE and DEMAND to ABOLISH Physical/Corporal Punishment of ALL CHILDREN IN ALL SCHOOLS, the Cost is $0.
If you read the footnotes you’ll see why this study found the opposite of every other study on the subject; they’ve limited spanking to open handed swats on an open bottom, excluding belt whippings, switchings, paddlings and numerous other ‘spanking’ that they have defined as abuse, but which most of the spanking community considers the definition of ‘spanking.’
The study is noit even close to being completed!
“One of those new population studies underway is called Portraits of American Life. It involves interviews of 2,600 people and their adolescent children every three years for the next 20 years. Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe is working with the first wave of data on the teens.”http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/nurtureshock/archive/2009/12/30/never-been-spanked.aspx
There is a petition to ban corpotal punishment in the US as over 20 countries have:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/america39s-behind–ban-the-physical-assault-of-children
[...] So no corporal punishment (which we wholeheartedly agree with here on the ‘derby), and now no time out. Is the end of [...]
“In order for the US to truly be a type of democracy, all of its citizens must be protected from corporal punishment” I don’t think the author of that petition knows what democracy means.
@ btk (that’s a horrible reference in your screen name, by the way, hard to even type it) where on earth do you get the idea that there’s a “spanking community” that has some bizarre universal definition of spanking? Spanking is spanking – a swat on the rear end. What other definition could there be?
[...] NurtureShock Says Spank Your Kids, Maybe [...]
“The vast majority agree that child buttock-battering isn’t healthy for kids. A marginal amount (mostly religious Fundamentalists) think child bottom-slapping is a good thing.”
The vast majority? Then why did the study say that only 25% of kids had never been spanked? That doesn’t jive with the numbers. 75% is not marginal.
If an adult has to result to spanking; then already the child is being raised by parent who has failed his responsibilities. Most kids that are being spanked are the ones that are problems. The children that are successful have intelligent parents, who teach there children by setting an example and not giving in. Once the child the rules than the child is given no more warning.
I hate to tell you; but these parents, really need to start using the intellectual powers instead returning back to barn yard approach. Beside, some children get aroused. Adults need to start learning to keep there hand off the children. Most family’s that go for spankings also go for control over woman.
children are born savages and parents have to civilize them and disciplline them,and sometimes a a good smack serves them well
I cringe when I see parents try to reason with a 3 or 4 year old, at first I dislike the child but then when reason comes back I know that the childs behaviour is the parents fault, I should dislike them and I want to say to them a fast smack on the rear and he will stop acting like a wild creature, kids can’t rear themselves