Oprah Secret? More Interesting Than Mine.John Cave Osborne
So today’s the big day. Oprah is going to tell us a secret on her show. Will you bet watching? I won’t. But it’s nothing personal, big, O. I just won’t be near a TV at the time your show airs. Plus, I’m pretty busy today and really don’t have an hour to kill just to hear your secret.
But I’m sure others do. And they’ll likely tune in with great interest so they can get the skinny directly from the Queen of Talk, herself. Internet chat rooms are already abuzz as to what it could be. Oprah’s not saying anything except to categorize it as a family secret that will be a real bombshell. As such, today’s show is one of the most anticipated in its history. Which got me thinking… maybe I should reveal an Osborne family secret here on Strollerderby.
But before I do, here’s a bit more about Oprah’s.
CBS reported that the talk show diva recently said that she “was given some news that literally shook me to my core. … I’ve been keeping a family secret for months, and you’re gonna hear it straight from me.” It also appears that she’s going to be on the receiving end of whatever it is. According to CBS:
After years of reuniting loved ones, Winfrey is promising viewers the most anticipated one in her show’s 25 year history — and it’s her own, saying, “This time I’m the one being reunited.”
So much for my “Stedman-is-really-my-brother theory.”
Some have speculated in the past that Vernon Winfrey is not Oprah’s actual father, so many believe the secret could pertain to that. But I truly have no idea what it could be. But I do know this much: Whatever it is, it’s virtually guaranteed to be more interesting than my family secret.
Still, in the spirit of disclosure, here it is:
Caroline’s pregnant. Oh wait. I already told that one. You know, the story about the pregnancy test and Dunkin Donuts… Besides, that’s no big deal. I need something a bit more shocking to get your attention.
Hey, I know!
My son still sucks his thumb. But then, again, he is only three. And he’s starting to do it a bit less. So maybe that’s not that big deal, either. Oooh. But this is:
My other son wet his pants yesterday. You know, that one’s lame, too. Let’s try again.
Caroline and I are at our wits’ end. There. That’s a good one. I’ve never really told anyone that, but it’s true. Caroline and I are at our wits end! Though never nauseous, Caroline has felt sick during this entire pregnancy. She recently found out she was anemic and has been taking iron supplements and also eating a iron-rich diet. She’s feeling better, but she’s still not 100%. Fatigue is a constant factor. And it’s tough. Everyone said that this pregnancy was sure to be a piece of cake compared to the physically trying triplet pregnancy she had handled so well. But everyone forgot to factor in one thing:
Last time she was pregnant, she had one child who was nearly six. This time? She’s got four children, three of whom are in the throws of toddlerhood. And they don’t care that she’s not feeling well. They’re constantly all over her. So poor Caroline’s about to pull her hair out. And when she’s not right, I’m not right.
It’s been a tough road lately, but we also know that we will somehow make it through. We’re good like that. Besides, we have no other choice. And despite the challenges, we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Life’s like any other game that’s worth playing. It often gets harder as you go along.
Okay, so there you have it. On a day that Oprah’s giving her big secret, I give you ours.
Pretty lame, right?