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Out of the Mouths of Babes: Hilarious Kid Quotes on Love and Marriage

My 4 year old son recently proclaimed, “I don’t want to get married because I’ll have to share my toys and fix all the broken stuff.”

My 9 year old son was quick to add, “Yeah, husbands also have to listen to their wives talk about their friends’ new haircuts and clothes all the time too.” Mmmkay…

While I pondered the future of my two Clooney bachelors, it got me thinking about kids and marriage. Are all kids put off to the idea of marriage or have I just done a most excellent job as overbearing wife and mother?

I did a little digging on the ‘nets and found Things People Said: Kids’ Ideas About Love which had me in stitches. Check out these hilarious quotes from kids on everything from what happens when you’re in love to how to keep the love alive - all after the jump!


  • Clothes call 1 of 17
    Clothes call
    "Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up."
    via Sarah, age 9
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Shot through the heart 2 of 17
    Shot through the heart
    "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
    via Manuel, age 8
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • The nose knows 3 of 17
    The nose knows
    "No one is sure why it [love] happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
    via Mae, age 9
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Promises, promises 4 of 17
    Promises, promises
    "A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together."
    via Marlon, age 10
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Lovestruck 5 of 17
    Lovestruck
    "When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don't get up for at least an hour."
    via Wendy, age 8
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • WhatsHerFace 6 of 17
    WhatsHerFace
    "Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love."
    via Erin, age 8
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Nothing better to do 7 of 17
    Nothing better to do
    "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours."
    via Kally, age 9
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • All figured out 8 of 17
    All figured out
    "Twenty three is the best age [to get married] because you know the person forever by then."
    via Cam, age 10
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • A true gentleman 9 of 17
    A true gentleman
    "If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new person, you have to ask permission."
    via Roger, age 6
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Speaking from experience 10 of 17
    Speaking from experience
    "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it."
    via Tammy, age 10
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • The rules 11 of 17
    The rules
    "The rules goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry her and have kids with her. It's the right thing to do."
    Howard, age 8
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Burning love 12 of 17
    Burning love
    "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are - on fire."
    via Christine, age 9
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Looks only get you so far 13 of 17
    Looks only get you so far
    "It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything, and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
    via Brian, age 7
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Stuck on you 14 of 17
    Stuck on you
    "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with."
    via Kirsten, age 10
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • You can run but you can’t hide 15 of 17
    You can run but you can't hide
    "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
    via Dave, age 8
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Body heat 16 of 17
    Body heat
    "I know one reason kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses."
    via Gina, age 8
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]
  • Taking his time 17 of 17
    Taking his time
    "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
    via Kenny, age 7
    [Image credit: Shutterstock]

Do your kids have ideas about love and marriage?

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Pucker Up: Readers Share Their First Kiss Stories

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