Parental Primer: How to Talk Dirty on the 'Net
When I got an e-mail warning me there were Fifty Internet Acronyms I Needed to Know as a Parent, I was expecting to one of those “golly gee, parents are so dumb” lists.
You know, the ones that teach us the number 2 really means “to” or “too” (I can’t be the only one who has gotten that e-mail . . . then sent it back to the grandmother who e-mailed it my way).
Instead, I got the dirty version.
As a parent, apparently I couldn’t have figured out “banana” is a stand-in for “penis.” And the mere fact that I answer to the word “mommy” means it’s supposed to be news to me that “kitty” still means “vagina” when it’s punched into a cell phone with your thumbs.
And, news flash here, 420 means marijuana.
Yes, parents, those of you how used your banana and kitty under the influence of too much 420 and ended up in this predicament, you are officially a moron.
That’s OK, your kids think so too. That’s why they made this list.
Now here’s the best way to get them back – text your child’s other parent immediately with any of the following: IM EZ R U; GYPO . . . who says being a parent means you can’t have a little dirty fun?
Sexting dirty pictures to your spouse would probably be easier than learning the lingo.
Note to self: get phone with better camera.
Bow chicka wow wow…
omg, my bff likes bananas in her kitty!
Well, some people are more innocent than other. I did at one point have to explain to my husband exactly what kinda shop the one called 420 Lifestyle was. And I’m not even into the 420 lifestyle, nor have ever been. Apparently he was just sheltered.
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