I love spending the holidays with family, but a funny thing has started happening recently. While it never bothered me to stay with relatives when we were younger and the kids were little, as the years march on and my husband and I settle into our own habits and routines at home and our talkative, outgoing children have gotten older… well, it just seems like we are begging for embarrassing moments that I’d just as soon not endure in front of my in-laws.
So, naturally, when I saw a post about partners’ “weird habits” I started thinking about how many things we do around the house that we wouldn’t ever in a million years want to get caught doing anywhere else. So we asked our readers on Babble’s facebook page: What’s one thing you or your partner does at home shame-free, but would be mortifying anywhere else?
You can read all the answers on our facebook wall (you’ll have to “Like” our page first to see the answers), but here are five of the most honest and hilarious… before I reveal them, though, will you PLEASE go put some clothes on?!? (That’s a hint about the #1 embarrassing thing.)
1. Apparently ya’ll like hanging out naked or in your underwear… a lot.
My husband and kids were all born without a modest gene, so while I personally remain as demure as a 19th-century swimsuit model, I totally get this one. It’s awesome to be able to walk around naked, or nearly so, and not be judged! But I’m still going to keep an eye out and go around closing doors on your nakedness while we’re at my parents’—I mean, honestly, who doesn’t bother to latch a door while showering/in the bathtub/changing?
2. Bras will be removed with extreme prejudice—the girls must be free!
As one woman put it: “if I leave my house, the second I walk in the door I’m taking it off. and if someone comes to the door I put a hoody on so nobody notices haha.” Another woman added, “even if it means grabbing one of my hubbies big ol’ sweatshirts and it’s 95 degrees out!”
I am guilty of this one—big-time. And so are thousands of other ladies who claim that if you listen ever so closely, you can hear the ka-pow! of breasts bursting from their bondage every day as they arrive home for the evening. Or, as my friend so eloquently says as she unfastens her hooks, “Release the hounds!”
3. “Letting it all hang out. ALL hang out.”
This is the one where we take being naked, or nearly naked, one step further. Like this woman’s husband who, while soaking in the tub, “props his legs up on the wall so his private parts are hangin every which way all spread out…” She further explains “he’s 6ft 3 so he looks ridiculously oversized in our tub. Not a pretty sight.” I was happy that she concluded with a generous “LOL â™¥ i love him!!” because I much prefer the thought that I’m laughing with her.
Or this one, “My husband always has his hand down his pants lol. so annoying. he claims ‘theres a penis thief so I’m protecting it!'”
Can we all agree that nobody’s mother should ever be privy to this information?
4. And then there’s the singing and dancing…
My husband is the first to admit that he couldn’t “carry a tune in a bucket.” Yet, he still exuberantly attempts singing on a regular basis—it is one of the reasons why I fell in love with him, actually. And yet, I still don’t think my parents really need to hear him tear into “Crazy Train” over Christmas… Nor witness my dance moves to the latest teeny-bopper dance single. It would just be wrong. Wrong and selfish of us to subject others to these atrocities.
This one’s a given, right? We all do it, yet everyone likes to pretend they don’t and is mortified if they do!
I consider it a personal gift to my children that we can toot with total impunity in our house, mostly because I grew up in a house where it felt shameful to pass gas within earshot of anyone else. That said, this open-farting policy can backfire (heh, heh, I said backfire)—Like that time one of our boys farted and then announced to everyone in the vicinity that it sounded “just like one of mom’s!!” And then all three boys joined in to demonstrate what each family member’s signature fart noise was. Sweet.
On that note… Happy holidays and safe travels if you are heading somewhere other than home—I wish you an embarrassment-free holiday! And, shhhh, Your secrets are totally safe.
Photo Credit: ©Noemi G Manalang via Flickr Creative Commons. Altered by Amy Windsor.
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