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Pretty Girls Don't Poop and Other Untruths of the Male Imagination

By Lori Garcia |

In the infamous words of George Costanza, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

We all believe half-truths to make sense of the nonsensical to some degree. When it comes to solving mysteries of the opposite sex, one could argue reconciliation by half-truths is better than nothing at all.

In an attempt to understand the complexities of women, men have developed a series of convenient female ”truths”. Follow me as I attempt to set the record straight after the jump!

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Common Myths Men Believe About Women

Women fantasize about other women

Men, you fantasize about women fantasizing about other women. When in fact, we fantasize about Ryan Gosling or Christian Grey...or Ryan Gosling as Christian Grey.
Image credit: Shutterstock

For even more full disclosure fun, check out The 20 Secrets All Women Keep.

Have any of your own myths of the male imagination to share?

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About Lori Garcia


Lori Garcia

Lori Garcia is a writer and mother of two living and loving in Southern California. When she's not fussing with her bangs, you can find her shaking her groove thing on her personal blog, Mommyfriend where she almost never combines true tales of motherhood and mayhem with her degree in child development. Read bio and latest posts → Read Lori's latest posts →

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11 thoughts on “Pretty Girls Don't Poop and Other Untruths of the Male Imagination

  1. bunnytwenty says:

    Um… among the many things that are wrong with this article, it’s kind of amazing that you’re not aware of women who commonly fantasize about other women. They are called “lesbians.” Ever heard of them? cripes.

  2. Amber says:

    I don’t know any man who thinks pretty girls don’t poop. That’s just so weird. Could you imagine that? Then again, maybe it’s a pun for being toxic? (pretty girls like to party, etc.)

  3. Jane says:

    Don’t worry. The kinds of men you’re talking about in this article are breeding themselves out of existence. They’re the kinds of men women like me date until we realize that it’s better to be treated like a human being instead of a caricature. The men you’re talking about will gladly let you do their half of the chores and will expect you to be “cool” about them using porn and cheating on you. This kind of guy is incapable of seeing any woman as a complicated human being and will put you in your place by calling you a nag and dismissing you as having PMS. These guys are a dime a dozen, but with women being 55% of college graduates, it’s only a matter of time before we decide that swagger sans substance is soooo not worth the effort.

  4. bunnytwenty says:

    Oh, teehee! It’s so funny to treat gay people as though they’re invisible!
    Seriously – if you were “waiting for that comment,” maybe you shouldn’t have included that as an item on your list.

  5. bob says:

    I guess this might be true for Jeffrey Goldstein here, that is if he’s what you mean by “men”:

  6. Linda, T.O.O. says:

    Sorry, not willing to slog through the stock images slideshow in order to hear what you have to say. Use your words.

    1. mommyfriend says:

      Linda, c’mon, girl! I would totally love to hear your thoughts on this one!

  7. Kp says:

    Excuse me? Yes they do get naked and have pillow fights which evolve into kissing and touching and stuff. I’ve never seen it but I’m positive that’s how it goes! Please don’t scare me like that again! How cruel!

  8. Do I Have To Give A name? says:

    Today has been my day for looking at random things on yahoo, since I’m sick and house-bound. This made me laugh. A lot. I think it’s funny what men think are true. Some is. Did a man make this paragragh?

  9. Educated Woman says:

    Ok, if you’re not a lesbian then no, we do not fantasize about other women. We are a little more inclined to run around in our underwear – which mine always match and are cute because I think that this makes a women feel much better about herself. But one “myth” that is truth – No we really don’t need men! (and not because we are lesbians) It’s ok to want to have a friend, partner around but they truly aren’t needed.

  10. Tom says:

    Who are you and have you ever been in a marriage relationship? I take that as a no as you sound so miserable here. You should try to get marriage as you are not going to be young anymore. I will be laughing to see you ending up crawling on your hands and knees just to find a woman to sleep with.

    The honest truth about most women is that we don’t want man like you to spray out meaningless fungus on us as we don‘t need that in our lives. We need to be treated like queens with a big marriage diamond ring on our hand that show real love.

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