Public Pressure Pushes Dad to Give Up Human Breast Milk Diet
Public pressure forced breast-milk drinking dad to wean.
Curtis has weaned.
After a storm of criticism last week, the California father who decided to work his way through a freezer full of breast milk ended his stunt and, along with his wife, took down their blog “Don’t Have a Cow, Man.” Instead of seeing how long the 6’4″ and 185-pound “Curtis” could survive on the excess breast milk, he and his wife, who went by the pseudonym “Katie,” found a different way to use up the stuff.
This is where an Irvine, California, mother of quadruplets comes in, and also a mom from Canada.
According to the Toronto Star, Curtis gave up the boob juice just four days into the experiment. But it wasn’t gnawing hunger pains or even thirst for a tall glass of water that shut it all down, it was international criticism and a lot of angry comments that pushed the couple to stop.
Mainly, his critics were outraged that a grown man would be consuming the expressed milk and not the many babies whose parents would like to feed them donated breast milk but can’t find it or afford it. In their blog, the couple explained that they had tried to donate all the extra but weren’t able to (for unclear reasons … but it happens). Over the years, Katie had already donated more than 10,000 ounces — she was hardly hoarding the stuff.
Among the tons of calls to donate they got was this link to an online milk sharing network, run by Emma Kwasnica, a mother in Montreal. As the California couple called it quits, they also contacted Kwasnica, who, two weeks before, had heard from a desperate mother of quadruplets in Irvine, Calif. This mother, who, for privacy reasons, wanted to use her middle name, Fiona, couldn’t produce enough milk on her own to keep up with her four growing babies. One of her babies had been born with digestive problems and couldn’t consume formula.
Kwasnica put the two in touch and the milk will be picked up this week. A happy ending, but also kind of unsatisfying, big picture-wise.
First, the happiness: Fiona is determined that all for of her babies will consume only breast milk, and Curtis and Katie will help her make that possible. She told the Star:
“I’m so relieved and so grateful,” Fiona, the mother of the quadruplets, told the Star from her home in Irvine, Calif. She agreed only to be identified by her middle name to ensure her family’s privacy.
The supply means she is no longer under constant pressure to search for donors. “It will allow me to put all my energy into caring for my babies.”
Fiona said she can’t produce enough of her own milk to feed two baby boys and two baby girls, and needs another 60 ounces a day — or 420 ounces a week.
Now, for the dissatisfaction:
This is a really nice outcome, and I know one that many readers will be satisfied with judging from some of the harsh comments left on the first post I wrote about their plan. I definitely had fun writing about Curtis and his stunt — it wasn’t clear why he did it … nor did it have to be — but I don’t think anything that the couple did was wrong, ethically or otherwise.
What’s surprising to me is how so many people felt someone else had more of a right to decide the fate of Katie’s expressed breast milk than she did. Yes, it’s nice that these babies will get the milk. And having been on the business end of a Medela Pump In Style, I know the temptation to look at those blueish white bags in that freezer as liquid gold. But the vitriolic reaction and public shaming for not immediately donating the leftovers strikes me as another way in which our society tends to treat pregnant/post-partum/nursing women as somehow a part of the public domain.
Curtis and Katie’s experiment was short and possibly one that they regret — they’ve pulled the blog. Still, the results are in: when it comes to mothers and the fruits of their bodies, society knows best … and don’t you forget it.
We haven’t really reached the point where people are compelled to broadcast everything they do. Surely they must have hoped the stunt would benefit them somehow, if performed publicly.
Why? HER breasts, HER milk. If she chose to let her husband consume it, why does anyone care? Are breasts and their milk now PUBLIC property?
Attitude like that would almost tempt me to pump and dump.
The issue is that if you START A BLOG you open yourself to criticism from the public. I am sure there are families all over the country (world?) who had excess breastmilk that they trashed. The difference is, they didn’t bring attention to themselves by starting a website to document every ounce they poured down the drain.
Wrong? No. Creepy? yeah.
It’s the anger with the sense of entitlement that people expressed. NO ONE other than the woman had the right to disperse that breast milk.
Oh man, I thought he was really convinced he could do it. I did not know he was willing to pay attention to the noise. Anywho, are there any significant benefits from a baby drinking breastmilk that do not come from his/her mom? You know, since breastmilk is tailored to the specific needs of the breastmilk producer’s baby.
Rosana, that’s something I’ve always wondered, even about pumped breast milk served a week later to the baby it was made for. Anyone know?
Lola. I totally agree. Do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home, but once you put your intentions on the Internet, you open yourself up to criticism or ridicule.
I’m actually all for criticism and ridicule. But it was the language of the criticism/ridicule that demonstrated another instance of what so many moms have experienced: that others had a say over what she should do with something produced by her body.
Of course there are significant benefits to a baby drinking breastmilk over formula. That is why on the WHO’s list formula is actually the fourth recommendation, after breastfeeding directly from the breast, pumped mother’s milk and donor milk. Milk is good for about 3 months in a regular freezer and 6 months in a deep freezer. It doesn’t somehow become inferior to formula just because it’s not consumed immediately.
What significant benefits if it is from somebody else? Just curious.
I agree with Goddess. Who cares if they wanted to publisize it. If her husband wants to drink it, so be it. Suppose to be a free country, but obviously not. Especially if you can’t drink your own milk that your body produced! I’m a nursing mother and can’t make enough just for my daughter! But, I’m not going to criticize someone expresses it and uses it for their cereal! Thank God she has all of this milk! Now her blessing is being shared amoung others in need. Why don’t we think of the possitives. Rather than…”boy that was wrong of him/her!” As I said,”who cares!” Obviously some of you do. God Bless!:-)
@ Rosana ~ Breastmilk contains of kind of antibodies and nutrients that formula does not, regardless of who produces it. Sure the human body tailors it for the specific needs of the child, but ultimately it’s still better to have donor milk than have to rely on Nestle to manufacture something that isn’t necessarily as good for the baby (not that formula is a bad option when breastfeeding isn’t an option or if the mother chooses formula)
With that being said, I think it’s bs that the couple was almost forced into giving up the experiment, but at least the milk when to a very good cause. If “Katie” was cool with her husband consuming HER milk, that is their prerogative. It’s way more healthy and natural than drinking cow’s milk, goat milk, our even soy/rice milk (which isn’t even milk at all… Juice maybe) No one should be compelled to donate a penny to charity or a freezer full of milk just because the public tells them they should, they should only do it if they want to on their own. “Katie and Curtis” have donated in the past… A lot more than most other people had. It’s not like they were keeping it specifically to deprive anyone. I suppose that doesn’t matter anymore since 4 lucky babies will now be given a better start (according to their own mother’s desires) and the experiment is off. But I would have been interested to learn what pros and cons would have come from the idea.
By the way, there are plenty of adults to BUY breastmilk because of digestive issues. I also found recipes for everything from ice cream (for my children) to soaps made from human milk. It’s not as weird as some of the closed minded people that were against the whole thing.
Yes, I wondered that too, Rosana and Madeline, so I asked about it when I was doing my Post Partum Doula training. Lola’s right.
The WHO’s recommendations for infant feeding are as follows:
1. Breastfeeding baby
2. Feeding baby pumped breastmilk from the mother
3. Feeding baby donated breastmilk
4. Formula feeding baby
So, yes, breastmilk right from the mother is specially tailored for her baby, but another mum’s milk is still deemed by The WHO to be superior to artificial feeding. Food for thought!
Good to know. I knew breastfeeding is best, that is why I through a lot of work to breastfeed my 2 kids for 1 year. However, I always wondered if feeding other babies with my milk would have been that beneficial. Thanks.
I have to admit I am a little bummed that they did go through with the experiment. I was very interested in it and was looking forward to see the outcome. But atleast the milk is being used for a good cause. God bless Marie&Curtis!
I would NOT be comfortable giving my child donated breast milk. Every food and drug a mother consumes is passed on through the milk. How do we know all these donating mothers are making wise choices? For all we know they could be smoking or using recreational drugs. They could be practicing unsafe sex or have an illness and be unaware of it. As much as we might like to believe it, not everyone has the same scruples when it comes to caring for an infant. Not so very long ago it was acceptable to use whiskey to calm a colicky baby. Some people still accept advice like this from well meaning relatives and friends.I guess my OCD is kicking in but if we use someone else’s milk we really don’t know what choices this mother made in the past week. Just the thought of it gives me a full body shiver!