Some people swear by the power of make-up sex. There’s certainly a case of doin’ it when emotions are raw and aggression runs high.
But is make-up sex bad news? Yes, according to Psychology Today’s Make-Up Sex Hurts: Why and How to Avoid It by clinical psychologist Seth Meyers. Meyers suggests that make-up sex reinforces emotional turmoil and masks larger intimacy issues.
Meyers goes on to say:
“The truth is that most make-up sex results from having felt and expressed extreme negative emotions during a heated argument, without any true resolution afterward. Because these individuals get sick of feeling the negative extreme end of the spectrum, they hunger to switch gears and jump to the opposite end of the spectrum — to feel the high that comes with making up. Honestly, it’s not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine.”
I may not know what it feels like to be “an addict who needs a hit of cocaine” but is anyone ever really that desperate to switch gears while fighting? Unless of course you know you’re wrong and find yourself fighting a losing battle (but when does that ever really happen?).
The gist is this, Meyers doesn’t want y’all believing that make-up sex is an exercise in real intimacy. Meyers warns, “Intimacy is about a mutual love and balance, while drama is about extremes and fantasies. Make-up sex often reflects the unconscious fantasy to be able to make everything better with sex.”
So friends, the next time you’re fighting over taking out the trash, don’t even think about hashing it out between the sheets. I know it won’t be easy.
What say you? Make-up sex, yay or nay?
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