Love Lessons for My Kids

You can’t hurry it, just like I couldn’t hurry you

“The baby you’ll have will be the baby you were meant to have,” my sister told me after my first miscarriage. Her words fell on deaf ears because I knew instinctively when I saw the word “pregnant” on the home testing kit stick that baby was the one I was meant to have. I was wrong. The only thing that could have soothed the pain of that and two subsequent miscarriages was you, and you were so worth waiting for. Read more about this mom’s journey from miscarriage to baby

It comes in many flavors

At the first meeting of my daughter’s school’s PTA group on diversity, we go around the room and say what makes our families unique.

When it’s my turn, I’m honest: My husband and I have an open marriage.

My kids are young. I haven’t sat them down and said, “This woman is my girlfriend. I am in love with her.” I just live my life, and they see me hold her hand. They know this person is special in my life. I’m teaching them that love comes in many forms.

Read more about how this family made polyamory work

I see it in you every day

The one thing I want my kid to know about love? That in our house, love is everywhere, and she’s partly responsible for that.

Love may be a really big thing, but it can be found in all sorts of small gestures, including things my daughter does every day — like the way she still wants to be carried up the stairs even though she’s a “big girl.”

Read 11 more little ways this mom feels her daughter sharing the love

Fighting is a part of it

Have you ever heard a couple brag that they never fight? Is that really a sign of a good relationship?

Fighting is fine; it’s part of a healthy relationship. What matters is that we repair things and stay connected. I don’t have a problem with my son knowing that my husband and I get angry sometimes — it doesn’t change how much we love each other.

Read the top 3 reasons why people should fight, even if they think they shouldn’t

Love yourself first — it’s harder than you think

The great e.e. cummings once said:

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

It’s one of my favorite quotes in spite of the fact that at one point, I was on the wrong side of it. It’s one of my favorite quotes because it’s what led me to love.

Read more about how this dad ditched his corporate job — and attitude — to find the family he always wanted

Dating won’t make me love you less

I’ve got enough on my plate being a single mom with two jobs, but I would like to fall in love again someday, and not just with my daughter.

Sure, the love I feel for her could fill 20 oceans, and she remained my sole inspiration in the darkest moments of despair after my divorce. But I need more than the love of a child to feel satisfied, and that doesn’t mean I love her less.

Read how this mom knows nothing can break the parent-child bond

You don’t have to like those you love

When I don’t like something my kids do or say, I tell them in those words: “I don’t like that.” Often, their response is, “You don’t love me.”

Sure, they could be manipulating me, and maybe they just want to be reminded that I love them, so I remind them. But it’s also a chance to teach them something I didn’t learn until I was grown up: You can love someone and not always (or ever) like them.

Read how to teach your kids that you don't need to like those you love

All you need is love — really

When I was sick as a child, I always wanted my mother with me. I might have felt terrible, but when she colored with me or pampered me with soup and tissues, I felt comforted. There are those who believe that love physically heals. I tend to agree.

There is nothing you can buy, consume, possess, or experience that is better than love. Nothing.

Read how this family uses love to face their problems together