Some sweet news for you: You will no longer have to fight off hordes of ignorant homophobes when reaching for America’s favorite sandwich cookie at the grocery store.
After Nabisco posted an image of a delightfully multi-colored (but sadly non-existent) Oreo cookie for Gay Pride day, the vast majority of responses–150,000 “likes” and 20,000 comments–were positive. But since there’s always a Draco Malfoy that has to ruin the fun, a slew of negative comments also followed, including many that said they would no longer be purchasing Oreos.
This is, as I have said, excellent news, as it leave more cookies for you and me. Thanks, homophobes! Between this nonsense and your Girl Scout cookie freak-out last January, I’m going to have freaking diabetes because you just make me want to buy so many cookies. At least when I need to buy new pants, I can buy them at JC Penney.
The thing is, if these homophobes really want to do their homework (and I’m pretty sure they don’t), they’ll discover that a metric ton of U.S. business supported Gay Pride Day this year. In Los Angeles, LA Pride 2012 events were sponsored by Bud Light, Johnson & Johnson, Coca-Cola, and Wells Fargo. New York City’s NYC Pride events were sponsored by some of the same companies, plus AT&T, Skyy Vodka, Macy’s, and Walgreen’s.
My kids have grown up with GLBT friends and family. They’re so used to the idea that “family means the people who love you” — whether that means a single-parent family, or a child living with her grandparents, or two moms, or whatever — that we actually had to specifically explain what a biological family is. I guess we’ve sheltered them to a degree, because they’re always surprised when they find out other people don’t share our views of equality. They’re particularly incredulous that their aunts had to travel to a different state to get married. They’re also pretty nuanced in their understanding; recently we were watching a show on TV, and a male character said he looked “so gay” with a bra on over his clothes.
“I don’t think he means gay,” said one of my 11-year-old twin daughters. “He means transgender.”
“They should really fact-check that stuff,” agreed her twin.
So, yeah, we’ll be munching some Oreos this week. Do I care if companies are using Gay Pride as just another marketing tool? Not really. When it comes to cold, hard cash, my family is delighted to support the companies that value the business of all our friends and family.
In fact, there are a whole slew of business we’ll be choosing to support, that anti-gay folks may want to incorporate into their boycott. I mean, they want to take a stand, right? Check it out:
Dear haters, maybe you should stop supporting Facebook with your hateful hating comments. 1 of 12Facebook shows its support from atop Delores Park in San Francisco. I personally strongly encourage homophobes to boycott Facebook. See ya!
(Photo Credit: Tech Crunch)
My, this gay beer sure is refreshing. 2 of 12Homophobes, don't forget to stop drinking beer! Anheuser-Busch, which owns Bud Light, also owns Budweiser, Beck's, Stella Artois, Labatt, Bass, Rolling Rock, and Michelob, among others. The company also holds the majority distribution rights for the Bacardi and Monster Energy brands, and holds a 50 percent share in Corona, so be sure to stop drinking those as well.
(Photo Credit: LAPride.org)
Words With (Gay) Friends 3 of 12Zynga, the maker of the addictively fun Words With Friends game, supported Pride day by tweeting this photo out.
(Photo Credit: @Zynga on Twitter)
I’ll take a double-gay grande mocha latte, please. 4 of 12
The Target bullseye just winked at you. 5 of 12Target showed its Pride with Pride-themed t-shirts this year, which sold out nearly immediately. Incidentally, you'll also have to stop buying anything from Old Navy, Macy's, Whole Foods, and Coca-Cola, by the way. Those companies all either sponsored Gay Pride events or have sold Gay Pride gear.
(Screen Cap: Target.com)
Stop playing all those sports video games. 6 of 12Video game maker Electronic Arts even handed out Pride swag at San Francisco's Pride parade. I guess you'll have to stop playing all those totally gay games like Madden NFL, NBA Live, Battlefield, Medal of Honor, NHL 13, and those evil Sims.
(Photo Credit: Instagram)
Are you a ‘Gaygler’? 7 of 12
I guess you’ll have to go Mac…Microsoft literally flies the pride flag. 8 of 12Outside Microsoft's Issaquah, Wash. campus, the company's GLEAM (Gay and Lesbian Employees at Microsoft) flag flies right next to the American flag and the Washington state flag. Sorry, haters, I guess you'll have to use Mac.
(Photo Credit: Fearless Son, Wikimedia Commons)
…Or maybe not. 9 of 12Ohhhh. Apple's logo is pretty much a gay pride flag. Maybe there's a Tandy computer leftover from 1980 that homophobes can have. Would go nicely with their outdated beliefs.
Seriously, though Apple has publicly supported gay rights and its employees released an "It Gets Better" video. Apple seems to have come around after a 2011 controversy over an iPhone app which purported to "cure" gayness (which Apple later booted). ABC News recently reported that Apple is including gay and lesbian emoji icons on its iOS9 operating systems,.
(Photo Credit: apple.com)
Please remove your shoes. 10 of 12Nike launched #BETRUE, a line of shoes to commemorate Pride month . The shoes were only available in stores in New York, San Francisco, and Portland, and each city got their own special design.
(Photo Credit: KyleMarchand.com)
You’ll need to avoid the Pentagon. 11 of 12The Pentagon and the U.S. Department of Defense celebrated Gay Pride Month for the fist time this year, ABC News reported. A panel discussion was held at the Pentagon Tuesday for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender troops and civilian Pentagon employees. The event came nine months after repeal of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy under which gay service members were fired from the military if they disclosed their sexual orientation.
(Art Credit: The Advocate)
You’ll also need to boycott the approximately eleventy million foods manufactured by Kraft. 12 of 12Oreo is owned by Nabisco, which in turn is owned by Kraft Foods. So obviously, if you're going to boycott Oreos, you should also boycott Cadbury, Capri Sun, Cheese Whiz, Cracker Barrel, Cool Whip, everything made by General Foods International, Gevalia, Jell-O, Kool-Aid, Kraft, Oscar Meyer, Maxwell House, Miracle Whip, Philadelphia, Polly-O, Planters, Prince, Stove Top, and approximately eleventy million other food brands, all of which are owned by Kraft. Um, I think you're going to be hungry.
(Photo Credit: Oreo on Facebook)
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