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Save Santa from Swine Flu

sick-santaYou better watch out, you better not cry, because Santa doesn’t want the resulting runny nose all over his rented red suit. Santas across the states are getting ready for the holiday, and they’re stocking up on Tamiflu.

With swine flu concerns centered around the youth, the jolly fat guys who plan to spend the next two months up close and personal with kids are warning parents: please, keep them home.

Over in the twin cities, some Santas report they’ll be shedding parts of their costumes because they’re afraid the plushy velvet will hold too many germs. Up in Canada, every mall Santa has been put on official warning: get the swine flu shot.

Considering how many kids will be queuing up to visit Saint Nick, keeping your sick kid home doesn’t just protect him – it protects the other kids. Not to mention, what are you doing taking a sick kid out of the house? If he’s that sick, he needs cuddling on the couch with clear fluids and humidifier, not a mall full of cranky shoppers trying to make ends meet in a bad economy.

And if you want to do it all from home this year – to ward off the visits with those sick kids – you can. There’s now a Santa Skype site set up so your kids don’t have to stand in line for forty minutes for their two seconds on his lap. Ten minutes is just $14.95 – so they won’t get to pull on his beard to see if he’s real . . . he won’t sneeze on them either.

Image: The Year Without a Santa Claus

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