School Kids Learn Their Rights to an Orgasm a Daytoddler-times
There are certain unalienable rights every kid should know about. And if your kid is going to school in a certain sector of England, they’re learning about their right to a daily orgasm.
We should be so lucky.
The pamphlets drawn up by the National Health System are titled “Pleasure,” and promise “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”. According to the Daily Telegraph, it also says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”
In some round-about so rubbishy it almost makes sense logic, the NHS folks say this is the way to discourage teens from having sex . . . by encouraging them to hold out for REALLY GOOD sex or doing it themselves.
I’m not against the latter – it seems substantially more realistic than abstinence. And have you ever met a teen boy who didn’t already spend hours in the bathroom (and teen girls too – but teen boys are generally much more open about it) with mom’s Victoria’s Secret?
As for the former . . . who knows what good sex is until you’ve had some? So who’s to tell a teenager they aren’t having good sex until they’ve practiced?
On a good note, this does provide every kid with a little something Our Bodies, Ourselves forgot to share: empowerment in the bedroom. Just think – no more women faking it. In fact, if this kind of sex ed had been taught thirty years ago, Meg Ryan would never have earned her grandest moment on film.