Lord. I already feel guilty enough that I dropped the yoga ball I so gladly picked up in the wake of my divorce and that I haven’t yet brought my daughter to Mommy and Me yoga – something I’ve been meaning to do but that has always felt cost prohibitive. Now you tell me Singles Yoga is a thing? So says Smiley Poswolsky at The Hairpin, who published a charming piece today about trying to meet a cute girl to make out with at a Singles Yoga class.
I can’t imagine trying to meet someone in yoga class, just because of the farts alone. I mean, come on! Who doesn’t fart at least once during a 45-minute yoga session?! I don’t care if your farts smell like flourless vegan chocolate cake. I just don’t want to meet you when your butthole is in the air, you know?
But one of our editors here at Babble, the darling Lindsay Hood, thinks attending a yoga class is a great way for men to meet women. She told me she thinks “Singles Yoga” is an unnecessary gimmick. “Honestly, all men have to do is go to a REGULAR yoga class” to meet ladies, Lindsay says. “I have been telling all my single dude friends this FOR YEARS.”
My buddy Jon Fisch – a hilarious and single stand-up comic! – says he “constantly” looks for girls to date at the yoga classes he attends. He says, “I fall in love three times per week at yoga.” But he’s been doing yoga for 6 years and has only gone out with one girl from class, “because we kept running into each other in the neighborhood.” You mean asking someone out while you’re covered in sweat and oozing alcohol out of your pores from the night before isn’t hot? Got it. Wait until you see them *after* yoga class. Walking your dog. In the neighborhood. Where you also “live.”
As regular readers know, I have been trying to find places and ways to meet a nice guy, because online dating doesn’t seem to be cutting it. But am I ready for Singles Yoga? I dunno. Proving how flexible I am is probably a good way to draw interest, but what if I break down and cry during one of the poses? Not because I’m in physical pain, but because Cobra always gets me to release my emotional baggage? (Note to self: if you go, wear waterproof mascara.)
I just don’t think I could handle the tension in the room having to listen to a teacher play both Cupid and Guru. Smiley Poswolsky describes his Singles Yoga teacher saying, “Welcome, let’s all take a deep breath. Open your eyes, take a look around the room. Everyone is single here, notice the others in the room. Now close your eyes, and take another deep breath.” And dream about who you want to lay in repose with after a sweaty workout, Downward Doggie-style? Eh.
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