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So Your Parents Divorced And You Can't Have a Kid?

four-christmasesAt first glimpse, Four Christmases makes you wonder how anyone in America ends up having a baby. But just wait – you might find some holiday spirit in this new DVD after all.

Brad (Vince Vaughn) and Kate (Reese Witherspoon) grew up in divorced families. So why would they want to get married and start the whole process over?

Filled with an all-star cast (Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, et al), the movie itself has funny parts, but the mocking of holiday slop quickly turns into holiday spirit, quickly stealing the humor of out the romantic comedy. Just a tip to Hollywood: you can’t have it both ways. Vince Vaughn plays big and goofy, Witherspoon little and cute – essentially what they’re known for. And you give them credit for trying.

So why bother with Four Christmases? For one thing, there are worse ways to spend a snowy afternoon leading up to the holidays – did I mention Vaughn and Witherspoon?

But the real biggie here: if you’re having that talk about why divorced families shouldn’t scare you off the procreation track, here’s the perfect corny kicker. Because I hear that one a LOT from the sector of the non-breeder set that’s more anti-having kids than they are anti kid

The excuses look something like this: “My childhood was just a nightmare. I don’t want to do that to a kid. Do you know what the divorce rate is in this country?”

Judith Wallerstein concluded nine years ago that children of divorce are showing the real effects as adults. Divorce, she said, “has a terrible impact on the ability of its young victims to form romantic relationships and build their own families.”

Setting aside the true psychological roots of this argument, I have another one. You really like kids and you won’t have them because your Mom and Dad sucked?  Talk about the world’s most classic cop out – blaming it all on your parents.

The grown up ones move past it, and considering that big divorce rate and America’s still large population, there’s a fair number. News flash: their kids are just fine. A bit of a spoiler alert here, but that may be the real take home lesson of a non-lesson movie: kids of divorce don’t have to let the divorce rule their lives at thirty.

One day you have to grow up. Are you a child of divorce? How do YOUR kids deal with it?

Image: amazon

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