If I had room in my house for 14 more people, I would seriously drive on over to California and scoop up every last one of Nadya Suleman’s 14 kids and take them home with me and smother them with love. In other words, I would act like a mom.
But even though I don’t have room for another 14 people in my house (or even 1 more person), here’s what I won’t be doing: Getting a $520 haircut one day, and then filing for bankruptcy the next day.
Because my money is better spent on my family. Did you hear that Octomom? My family comes before my haircuts. And I don’t have 14 kids. Even for you, Octomom, this is a new low. There are no words. (OK, there are a few. Here they are:)
Suleman (whom I will here on out refrain from calling “Octomom,” because she doesn’t deserve to be called “Mom” under any circumstances) said in a bankruptcy court filing that she has as much as $1 million in debt, and only $50,000 in assets, according to the Washington Post. That means she owes more than 20 times her net worth.
The Orange County Register is reporting that in her court statement she’s saying that declaring bankruptcy will allow her to have a “fresh start” and it’s “what’s best for her children.”
Among her creditors, by the way? DirecTV.
Suleman has lately been feeding her kids with the help of food stamps and Social Security disability payments. And yet, that didn’t stop her from spending $520 on a Brazilian blowout and a haircut the day before filing for bankruptcy, according to TMZ.
I can’t actually give advice to Suleman about how to get out of this exact pickle she’s gotten herself into (although if I could turn back time, I might have avoided having FOURTEEN kids by MYSELF if I were not independently wealthy or at least EMPLOYED).
But maybe, just maybe, if I had FOURTEEN mouths to feed, was $30,000 behind in rent payments, and nearly $1 MILLION in debt, I would TURN OFF MY DirecTV SERVICE and NOT GET A BRAZILIAN BLOWOUT AND A HAIRCUT.
OK, since I don’t have space for another 14 kids in my house, there must be someone or a few people out there who can take in a few of her kids and smother them with love? And by smother them with love, I mean put the kids and their 14 needs (times a gazillion) before my HAIRCUT needs (or wants! No one NEEDS a Brazilian blowout or a HAIRCUT at all! That’s what rubber bands and SCISSORS — or, heck, razors to shave off your damn hair — are for, if necessary).
She is sick and needs to get better. And those poor kids just need a mom to smother them with love. And not get haircuts when there are much more pressing matters at hand. Like FOURTEEN MOUTHS TO FEED AND BODIES TO CLOTHE.
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